I bite my cheek all the time and you're right Rad, it ruins whatever you're eating. You can taste the blood and you sit there thinking "I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and bite the lump I've just bit out of my cheek again because I'll have totally forgotten about it and by then it'll be sticking out like a huge erect nipple".
Last clumsy thing I remember doing was sitting on the toilet and nearly ripping a crucial bit off - we've got one of those stupid toilet seats that goes down really really slowly (I'm talking snail moving across the ground slowly), so that if you accidentally drop it, it won't make a loud noise or shatter or anything.
Well it takes that long to go down, I got impatient and just parked my arse on it mid-air, obviously forcing it down with my gargantuan weight. My "crucial bits" were through the hole, and as I forced it down, a bit of what can only be described as ballsack skin became trapped between the underside of the seat and the toilet bowl. A bit like shutting your finger in a drawer (which I also do more often nowadays), except... A lot more painful.
The neighbours thought we'd bought some kind of exotic animal that went "AWOOAWAAWOOAAAAAARGHFFFAFAFA". I think I actually shouted "HELP" at some point as well.
Also, although this isn't clumsy, this is just stupid... You know when you're arguing with your missus and you say "babe, listen" or whatever your pet name for that person is... You only say it when you're pissed off don't you? You never say it any other time.
ANYWAY, I've been arguing with my dad over something he bought for his PC before, and said "babe, listen - I MEAN..." Now that's bad.
I'm just glad that it's "babe" and not "mega-knockers" or something.
