There is a confusion amongst gamers between "authenticity" and "realism". Most shooters (COD, Medal of Honor, etc) strive for authenticity - that is the guns sound real, the atmosphere is immersive, the storyline makes sense for the subject matter, the color pallete creates a mood, and on and on. These games purposely try not to get too much "realisim" into these games which would literally destroy the fun (one shot to the arm and you're down). FIFA is designed exactly the same way. The authenticity is mind-boggling. Licenses, uniforms, atmosphere, stadiums, modes, etc all ooze an "authentic" soccer experience. Unfortunately, there is little "realism" in FIFA for the same reason - EA know that the vast majority of their fan base don't really want the investment of really figuring out the tactics and strategies. Yes, they give you game sliders, but these are game enhancements which further immerse the player in "authenticity". I have tried every FIFA since '94 and I have never once felt compelled to stop a game, really look hard at my formation and tactics and figure out a change (subtle or major) that I felt would alter the course of the match. And I'm willing to bet most FIFA players don't either! Two reasons: the tactical abilities are severely limited (for in-game tweaks) and the real lack of player individuality makes the point mute. Have you seen the video where the guy is playing FIFA as a Bundesliga reserve team vs Barca (yes, that Barca) and he puts the GK as striker and the guy scores?!?! That would never, ever, ever happen in PES. Actually it would never happen in any game designed for people over the age of 13 - or grownups as you called them.
PES, on the other hand strives for "realism" while miserably failing on "authenticity". Yes the licenses are a key issue, but beyond that, they do a terrible job with animations and other buggy stuff that takes the player out of that "authentic" immersion. Better presentation and commentary would also help in this area. On the field however, I have never felt there is even a remote comparison. Playing FIFA, it's basically an exercise in learning and mastering a control scheme and knowing that pressing a certain sequence of buttons with a certain timing will typically yield succsessful results. While playing PES, I am pressing buttons, but I more often than not, am thinking about how a real soccer player or coach would approach the situation. It's not about Gattuso hitting a perfect pass because I've mastered the timing of the pass button and have memorized my teammate and opponent CPU tendancies (FIFA), it's about me looking up and saying "oh shit, where's Pirlo" and getting him the ball becaus he has a better chance of making the pass (PES). PES is about having trouble scoring because the defense is arranged in a formation, then going into the gameplan screen and moving my AMF forward 10 yards and to the left 15 yards and changing his role to SS. And then going back to the game and this subtle change actually pays dividends and creates goalscoring chances I have yet to see. You know, just like when this happens in a typical EPL or Serie A match. Yes, there is scripting in PES, but when you learn to avoid the situations that cause the scritping you realize that you're actually playing real soccer.
I hope that answers your question.