- Thread starter
- Staff
- #961
-
Major upgrades completed! Please report any issues you spot in here
The Random Crap Thread
- Thread starter Chris Davies
- Start date
jaygrim
TheAllSeeingEye
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
Haha what a fucknut.
Haha what a fucknut.
- Thread starter
- Staff
- #963
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
That's brilliant. I'm evil and I'm going to hell, I know but that's hilarious. Fucknut.
EDIT: BRITAIN'S DUMBEST CRIMINAL? Haha, I did this myself at school when I was about ten. I wrote my name on a steamed-up window, and I thought I was great. Ten minutes later a dinnerlady said to me "did you just write on the glass in the dinnerhall?" - I said no, obviously. She said "why does it say your name then?" I nearly had a heart attack (I was a stressed-out child).
I wouldn't mind but she could have just wiped the frigging window clean, miserable bitch. It's not like I was spraying "Mr. Austin touches boys" on the wall.
That's brilliant. I'm evil and I'm going to hell, I know but that's hilarious. Fucknut.
EDIT: BRITAIN'S DUMBEST CRIMINAL? Haha, I did this myself at school when I was about ten. I wrote my name on a steamed-up window, and I thought I was great. Ten minutes later a dinnerlady said to me "did you just write on the glass in the dinnerhall?" - I said no, obviously. She said "why does it say your name then?" I nearly had a heart attack (I was a stressed-out child).
I wouldn't mind but she could have just wiped the frigging window clean, miserable bitch. It's not like I was spraying "Mr. Austin touches boys" on the wall.
jaygrim
TheAllSeeingEye
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
Hahaha i saw that today, happened to me once on holiday i shit my pants and threw my shitty undies out the hotel window only for the manager to ring our room half an hour later to say he had found them in the pool. My mum had sewn my name in the back.
Hahaha i saw that today, happened to me once on holiday i shit my pants and threw my shitty undies out the hotel window only for the manager to ring our room half an hour later to say he had found them in the pool. My mum had sewn my name in the back.
- Thread starter
- Staff
- #965
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
HAHA, Jesus, this will be me when I'm 35.
HAHA, Jesus, this will be me when I'm 35.
vanzandt
The answer must be Jam
- 26 July 2007
- Team
- Everton
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
I like this thread more than milky milky :freak:
I like this thread more than milky milky :freak:
- Thread starter
- Staff
- #967
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
I just remembered, there used to be an advert a few years ago, where the narrator said:
"It's quick, it's easy, and you can do it all over the phone."
I must be messed up, but every time he said that, I would piss myself laughing, because the image of a man pissing all over his phone with a great big smile on his face came into my head. "I'm doing it all over the phone!"
I just remembered, there used to be an advert a few years ago, where the narrator said:
"It's quick, it's easy, and you can do it all over the phone."
I must be messed up, but every time he said that, I would piss myself laughing, because the image of a man pissing all over his phone with a great big smile on his face came into my head. "I'm doing it all over the phone!"
jaygrim
TheAllSeeingEye
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
So you have a piss fetish now as well?
So you have a piss fetish now as well?
- Thread starter
- Staff
- #969
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
Ergh, no. I just have a bad sense of humour.
Ergh, no. I just have a bad sense of humour.
jaygrim
TheAllSeeingEye
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
You can say that again.
You can say that again.
- Thread starter
- Staff
- #971
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
Ergh, no. I just have a bad sense of humour.
Ergh, no. I just have a bad sense of humour.
marukomu
Ecchi otoko
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
Just to let you all know, somebody moved the sandbags and the field got reflooded. All the fish escaped back into the storm drain.
Just to let you all know, somebody moved the sandbags and the field got reflooded. All the fish escaped back into the storm drain.
jaygrim
TheAllSeeingEye
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
What about the crayfish?
What about the crayfish?
marukomu
Ecchi otoko
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
Starved hopefully. The little bastards flashed their claws at me every time I went near them. I didn't do nothin' to their shit. They deserve it. Fuckers.
Starved hopefully. The little bastards flashed their claws at me every time I went near them. I didn't do nothin' to their shit. They deserve it. Fuckers.
jaygrim
TheAllSeeingEye
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
Poor crayfish.
Poor crayfish.
- Thread starter
- Staff
- #976
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
There was me thinking you were an animal lover marukomu
The girlfriend's whole life is animals, it drives me completely mental. She has so many scars on her after she's been home you'd think she'd been fighting for her life. How she can spend her life with things that are clawing her to death I have no idea.
There was me thinking you were an animal lover marukomu
The girlfriend's whole life is animals, it drives me completely mental. She has so many scars on her after she's been home you'd think she'd been fighting for her life. How she can spend her life with things that are clawing her to death I have no idea.
jaygrim
TheAllSeeingEye
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
Says a lot for you that does JB.
Says a lot for you that does JB.
- Thread starter
- Staff
- #978
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
Hahaha, every time her mate sees her she mouths "domestic violence?" :mryellow:
Hahaha, every time her mate sees her she mouths "domestic violence?" :mryellow:
marukomu
Ecchi otoko
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
She'd hate animals if she lived here. We have poisonous snakes, lizards, millions of noisy frogs and crickets behind the house in the rice fields and thousands more really noisy cicadas in the front of the house. There are 2 inch long hornets here and if they sting you, you've got about 5 hours to get to hospital or you'll die. There's an enzyme in their venom that melts flesh too.
She'd hate animals if she lived here. We have poisonous snakes, lizards, millions of noisy frogs and crickets behind the house in the rice fields and thousands more really noisy cicadas in the front of the house. There are 2 inch long hornets here and if they sting you, you've got about 5 hours to get to hospital or you'll die. There's an enzyme in their venom that melts flesh too.
- Thread starter
- Staff
- #980
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
Believe me, she will always love animals no matter what. She's been attacked by a dog, to the point of being able to see her bone through the torn flesh on her leg, and she's had a massive chunk of chin taken off when she was only young. She's a mental.
Believe me, she will always love animals no matter what. She's been attacked by a dog, to the point of being able to see her bone through the torn flesh on her leg, and she's had a massive chunk of chin taken off when she was only young. She's a mental.
- Staff
- #981
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
YUSSSSHHHH BADMAN
so good to hear from ya G
Well i got an elite and she my new baby i LOVE her like i love the sun and moon and all the stars in the night sky....
but yeah anyway their MINT. S'good to hear ya wanna start chillin man, babys on da way mabee?
BIOSHOCK is fuckin KILLA man its the new killa ap on 3siddy
right listen i just woke up on my third day of my hol's (in the house by the way)
and i rocked da wake n bake man so i'm mash up dem an me brain is like "cough..eahh..what...AAAhhhhhhhhhh....cough" so i will hit you back when i anit so mashed but as i say its good to hear from ya man
peace, love and unity
Zeddybear
amc39phx
> From: crispy_noodles@hotmail.com
> Subject: YUSSSSSH!
> Date: Tue, 28 Aug 2007 22:10:12 +0800
> To: amc39p@hotmail.com
>
> Yush babwoy!!! - I'm sat ere in Starbucks, with my email open and 12%
> left on my battery, 38 degrees outside, missing the fuck out of
> England, never thought I'd say that again.
>
> Anyways jus droppin u a quick e to letya know I'm gunna get one of
> them new 360's...elite or whatever as soon as I get back...this
> jetsettin shit's gettin to me, time to settle somewhere i spose.
>
> The missus wants to start a bizznizz in Nottingham-China, import/
> export or maybe a cafe or restaurant with a likkel chinese flair -
> so we is lookin into that right now. She needs to free up some cash
> in China, I love China tho' man , the place is ready to explode in
> every way, it's amazing, but I'm feelin cut-off nahmean?...I'm
> pleased I been ere over the summer tho man I heard the weather was
> fuckin awful in UK.
>
> China's been good to me man, a loving wife, a new language, respect
> for other cultures a new extended family that are just superb...and
> I've learned alot about myself n people, that being stuck in UK
> couldn't have done. But ya know at the end of the day people is
> people, rich n poor, fat n thin, good character and bad character's
> alike....fuckin ell it's taken me more than 30yrs to work it
> out...god damn I'm a dunce.
>
> In other news man I've just bought a MacBook so I'm back on the Mac
> and FUCKING LOVING IT!!, you still got yours?? I ain't fuckin with
> Windows again not in this life...so, can u hook me up when I get back
> with some software - ya know music shit....just simple tings so we
> can get it poppin again, like the good ol days.
>
> So, truth be told - I'm fucking missin ya man (no homo)!! - weird
> arsed shit, never met ya but you was there on Live and MSN during
> some fuckd-up times for me and I appreciate it. We is deffo gonna get
> the phillie's filled-up and bust some lungs in real-life. Have some
> pure Joke.
>
> Did you catch Common's new CD man?....shit's dope cop it if u ain't
> already it's called Finding Forever...some ill beats on there -
> should hold u down til' Kanye's new joint in September. New Talib
> Kweli and Noreaga LP's are smoking also - check em out.
>
> What's BioShock sayin dread??...I'm hearing good things even tho'
> there's no Live shit is there??...It's gunna be a sick sick sick
> Autumn/Winter as far as gamin's concerned - there's too much shit
> coming out man, I'm fuckin giddy to get back on the scene and get
> involved...new COD looks off the hook, Assasins Creed too - maaaaaaan
> I'm so fucking hungry right now to get mi game on.
>
> Also what's happnin' in your life? I remember u told me u were
> gettin married and you got some cyat dem....my Gunchester rudey gone
> soft??...talkin of ruudey what's he sayin....you been trimming n
> strimming and did fuckin 2-milly Hinged come back?
>
>
> Respect and talk soon man
> Crispy
>
>
Think it says it all, dont know how da fuck it ended up in my hotmail though..........
YUSSSSHHHH BADMAN
so good to hear from ya G
Well i got an elite and she my new baby i LOVE her like i love the sun and moon and all the stars in the night sky....
but yeah anyway their MINT. S'good to hear ya wanna start chillin man, babys on da way mabee?
BIOSHOCK is fuckin KILLA man its the new killa ap on 3siddy
right listen i just woke up on my third day of my hol's (in the house by the way)
and i rocked da wake n bake man so i'm mash up dem an me brain is like "cough..eahh..what...AAAhhhhhhhhhh....cough" so i will hit you back when i anit so mashed but as i say its good to hear from ya man
peace, love and unity
Zeddybear
amc39phx
> From: crispy_noodles@hotmail.com
> Subject: YUSSSSSH!
> Date: Tue, 28 Aug 2007 22:10:12 +0800
> To: amc39p@hotmail.com
>
> Yush babwoy!!! - I'm sat ere in Starbucks, with my email open and 12%
> left on my battery, 38 degrees outside, missing the fuck out of
> England, never thought I'd say that again.
>
> Anyways jus droppin u a quick e to letya know I'm gunna get one of
> them new 360's...elite or whatever as soon as I get back...this
> jetsettin shit's gettin to me, time to settle somewhere i spose.
>
> The missus wants to start a bizznizz in Nottingham-China, import/
> export or maybe a cafe or restaurant with a likkel chinese flair -
> so we is lookin into that right now. She needs to free up some cash
> in China, I love China tho' man , the place is ready to explode in
> every way, it's amazing, but I'm feelin cut-off nahmean?...I'm
> pleased I been ere over the summer tho man I heard the weather was
> fuckin awful in UK.
>
> China's been good to me man, a loving wife, a new language, respect
> for other cultures a new extended family that are just superb...and
> I've learned alot about myself n people, that being stuck in UK
> couldn't have done. But ya know at the end of the day people is
> people, rich n poor, fat n thin, good character and bad character's
> alike....fuckin ell it's taken me more than 30yrs to work it
> out...god damn I'm a dunce.
>
> In other news man I've just bought a MacBook so I'm back on the Mac
> and FUCKING LOVING IT!!, you still got yours?? I ain't fuckin with
> Windows again not in this life...so, can u hook me up when I get back
> with some software - ya know music shit....just simple tings so we
> can get it poppin again, like the good ol days.
>
> So, truth be told - I'm fucking missin ya man (no homo)!! - weird
> arsed shit, never met ya but you was there on Live and MSN during
> some fuckd-up times for me and I appreciate it. We is deffo gonna get
> the phillie's filled-up and bust some lungs in real-life. Have some
> pure Joke.
>
> Did you catch Common's new CD man?....shit's dope cop it if u ain't
> already it's called Finding Forever...some ill beats on there -
> should hold u down til' Kanye's new joint in September. New Talib
> Kweli and Noreaga LP's are smoking also - check em out.
>
> What's BioShock sayin dread??...I'm hearing good things even tho'
> there's no Live shit is there??...It's gunna be a sick sick sick
> Autumn/Winter as far as gamin's concerned - there's too much shit
> coming out man, I'm fuckin giddy to get back on the scene and get
> involved...new COD looks off the hook, Assasins Creed too - maaaaaaan
> I'm so fucking hungry right now to get mi game on.
>
> Also what's happnin' in your life? I remember u told me u were
> gettin married and you got some cyat dem....my Gunchester rudey gone
> soft??...talkin of ruudey what's he sayin....you been trimming n
> strimming and did fuckin 2-milly Hinged come back?
>
>
> Respect and talk soon man
> Crispy
>
>
Think it says it all, dont know how da fuck it ended up in my hotmail though..........
jaygrim
TheAllSeeingEye
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
WTF?
WTF?
- Thread starter
- Staff
- #983
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
HAHAHA, hahaha, aaaaaah. That's her fault that is.
HAHAHA, hahaha, aaaaaah. That's her fault that is.
- Thread starter
- Staff
- #984
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
...Yeah. Anyway.
I bloody hate people (especially old people) who will sit watching telly for three hours, perfectly quietly, and then when they notice you walk past they go COUGH COUGH, HACK, COUGH COUGH, errrh, COUGH CHOKE HACK.
...Yeah. Anyway.
I bloody hate people (especially old people) who will sit watching telly for three hours, perfectly quietly, and then when they notice you walk past they go COUGH COUGH, HACK, COUGH COUGH, errrh, COUGH CHOKE HACK.
jaygrim
TheAllSeeingEye
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
Hahaha who the fuck does that JB?
Hahaha who the fuck does that JB?
- Thread starter
- Staff
- #986
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
Every old person I know, when they were ill three weeks ago and they're trying to milk it.
EDIT: Just saw the BBC headline, "Brown to unveil job boost plans", and thought it said "Brown to unveil boob job plans".
Every old person I know, when they were ill three weeks ago and they're trying to milk it.
EDIT: Just saw the BBC headline, "Brown to unveil job boost plans", and thought it said "Brown to unveil boob job plans".
Last edited:
jaygrim
TheAllSeeingEye
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
Just had a email from JB's dad?
Just had a email from JB's dad?
- Thread starter
- Staff
- #988
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
Oh my God, you could sell that for £10 on eBay.
Oh my God, you could sell that for £10 on eBay.
- Thread starter
- Staff
- #989
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
Just got this email from Nintendo (no word of a lie).
Drugs, much?
Just got this email from Nintendo (no word of a lie).
Drugs, much?
- Thread starter
- Staff
- #990
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man
Just watching the Women's World Cup, England v Japan. There's a Japanese player called "Ohno"
OH NO!!!
What?
*Splat*
EDIT: The woman commentator is a fucking fanboy as well - sorry, fangirl. There was an England shot that was going slightly wide and she says "I think that was on target to be honest", then there was a shot going MILES wide (before it took a deflection), literally heading for the corner flag, and she says "I don't know if that was on target, to be honest".
Stop saying "to be honest" and JUST BE FUCKING HONEST. Daft bitch.
EDIT 2: Tranmere should try and get that Miyama woman, she's like David Beckham. Brilliant.
Just watching the Women's World Cup, England v Japan. There's a Japanese player called "Ohno"
OH NO!!!
What?
*Splat*
EDIT: The woman commentator is a fucking fanboy as well - sorry, fangirl. There was an England shot that was going slightly wide and she says "I think that was on target to be honest", then there was a shot going MILES wide (before it took a deflection), literally heading for the corner flag, and she says "I don't know if that was on target, to be honest".
Stop saying "to be honest" and JUST BE FUCKING HONEST. Daft bitch.
EDIT 2: Tranmere should try and get that Miyama woman, she's like David Beckham. Brilliant.
Last edited: