The Random Crap Thread

My mate did that. His dad owned a factory and he used to let him drive his car round the carpark since he was about 12 so he only needed a couple of lessons to straighten things out and then he passed first time.
 
Matherto - I phoned BSM last week and that's what they quoted me mate: £28 an hour. Instructor rates go up every year I think. :)
 
Plan M said:
You passed after only 2 lessons? :shock:
Click to expand...

Yeah, I went to a nearby business estate and drove around while my old man went to a cafe nearby and had a full English... he was on a diet at home. :LOL: Some times I did it in a mates old transit with dodgy gears... driving a car after a couple of times in that was child's play. One of the main things my instructor told me when I had my first lesson was I seemed so confident behind the wheel, he assumed I had lots of lessons he was happy to put me straight in for my test.
You learn to pass your test, more than learn to drive. But be confident in yourself and your surroundings. Learning the space your vehicle takes up is important. Some people never master that, it amazes me they get a licence! those are the numbnuts you see breaking when a bus or lorry comes down a road towards them or overtaking parked cars or roadworks and leaving a ten foot gap, forcing oncoming cars to swerve out of the way. :MAD:
 
Haha interesting story Nick :)

Guys, I have sold a footy shirt on ebay yet the person who has won the item just won't pay or return any of my messages. It's been over 7 days now and the guy is pissing me off. I haven't posted the item yet because I only accept PayPal and wont send anything until I am paid. What are my options? I can't just relist the item can I?
 
What about feedback and all that crap? He could say that I didn't send him the shirt and let him down.

Meh - I'll post the question in the Ebay Community Forums, someone will know what to do. :)
 
Go round his house and burn the fucker down, then shag his Mrs while he's melting and looking at you through the window. And make sure the have that football shirt on.
 
Mike - you can raise a non paying buyer flag or something along those lines where ebay look into it and that way you're covered.
 
Haha cheers for the advice lads! (especially Jay, I actually pictured that in my head!) :lol:
 
Just caught EastEnders for the first time in months. I love the new blonde.

clare_bates_large_3.jpg


gemma_bissix_9502_12.jpg


Yum.
 
^She's always got her bangers out that one. She might look good but I find her as annoying in EE as I did in Hollyoaks.
 
Who wouldn't expose themselves at the sight of this man?

*stands up wearing socks only*

Picture+4.png


"Jaaaaane. I said no pissing on the carpet."
 
Yana said:
^She's always got her bangers out that one. She might look good but I find her as annoying in EE as I did in Hollyoaks.
Click to expand...

She used to be in Eastenders before - as a little girl. Her dad was the weedy bloke who used to be friends with the Mitchell brothers (He is now in Casualty or Holby City)

Edit - Nigel that was his name in eastenders.
 
Last edited:
Yeah it's still the same actress too. Boy, has she developed! I'd like to place my sausage in between them baps.
 
^Hahahaha! Excellent.

proxi said:
Who wouldn't expose themselves at the sight of this man?

*stands up wearing socks only*

Picture+4.png


"Jaaaaane. I said no pissing on the carpet."
Click to expand...

Ughhhhh that's a disgusting vision!!! :SS

And yeah I remember her in it before, with her pigtails and all. Nigel was a legend!
 
Random thought for the day...

It's not nice, getting older. I remember playing Football Manager (when it was still Championship Manager) and every player I could find was born before I was. I was born in 1984 and these guys were all born in 1980. I sat there thinking "see, there's still plenty of time to become a professional footballer"... Then there were one or two prospects a year or two younger than me, 1985/1986, and I thought "I could still do it"... Then eventually "Ian Wright didn't start playing professionally until he was 20, there's still time"... And now, finally, it's "I can still become a manager!"

Serious question, when did you start feeling old? I remember looking for work years ago and the general response from employers was "you're still young, you've got plenty of time" - I'm in the same situation now, I'm 23, and I feel like I'm past it.
 
Last edited:
Know what you mean with regard to the footballers. There was a small, very small, glimmer of oppertunity in my youth to play for Feyenoord youth. I never had the serious goal to become a footballer, but seeing players now and "looking up to them" feels very odd. Torres......23! Faberge, 20?! That makes me feel so old when I think back to how "good" I used to be and you see some of the thickest, even in football terms, people around playing pro and getting so much money. And half of them have worse 1st control, technical ability then I did at 16!

I never would have made it though, didnt have the mentality. Played it for fun and didnt have the win at all costst / kill the opposition aspect of it. But atleast, within one half of a pitch, I could pass the ball both across the ground and in the air and "hit" my target to within a meter........everytime. Kinda like the longball challenges in pes :D Seeing some of the wingers / set pieces now and they can't even get the ball past the 1st f#$king player. Gerrard, I'm looking at you!
 
People used to say I could cross the ball unbelievably well for a 15-16 year old, but then the school got a new PE teacher and he was an absolute bastard. He was a divorced, bitter old cunt of a man, out for revenge against the "youth of today". He wasn't just verbally abusive, he locked one poor kid up in a cupboard knowing that he was claustraphobic. He was pissing himself all afternoon.

At the time I just thought of him as a cunt and it put me off sport altogether - similar to what you mentioned tiktiktiktik, about the "kill the opposition" aspect - now I see that it was his attempt at motivation. He was trying to make us hate him so much that we wanted to "beat him", but we were just kids. All it did was scare the living shit out of us.

A few parents tried to catch him at the school but he was always "unavailable". He would tell the school secretary to tell everyone he was gone and he would either hide in one of the unused classrooms or get into his car and drive off. It led to a lot of kids in my year leaving school 1-2 years early, the school even employed psychologists to tell us all that we were "imagining it" and "making things up" (no joke, no exaggeration), but he got away with it and continues to get away with it to this day. One dad managed to get hold of him and knocked a few teeth out, but then of course he was up in court for it.

Everything that's ever been said against the guy is quashed by the authorities immediately because there's no evidence, despite the fact that one kid taped a conversation he had with him (how the fuck he wriggled out of that one I have no idea). I remember the head-teacher saying to me "boys will be boys, men will be men" - and that was the last thing that wanker ever said to me. I was out of there the next day, no way in hell was I going back to that. You could use that excuse for anything. I had family members dragged to court over it, giving character assessments of me, if I would usually make things up, if I was just too lazy to go to school. God, that was the worst time of my life.

Thank God for college.

Anyway, there was an article in last month's FourFourTwo magazine about how children's sport is being crushed in this country from the inside out. About bad coaches and utterly mental parents putting so much pressure on their kids that - well, one lad was chased up a tree by his dad. Fucking insane.
 
Last edited:
In other news, new Ben & Jerry's Low Fat Frozen Yoghurt ROCKS. If they're as not-bad-for-you-just-not-very-good-for-you-either as they claim, then these things are miracles.
 
Ben & Jerrys is godly. Try the "Half Baked" ice cream they do, it's like sex on your spoon. The Chocolate Fudge Brownie one isn't too bad either. God I want some now....
 
I will try the "Half Baked" stuff, what does it taste of though? "Half Baked" is a very strange name for ice-cream...

And yeah, Phish Food is excellent. I had to stop getting that, I would make myself sick with the stuff.
 
JB I'm hitting the big 20 soon, and I completely agree about football players. Now players like Pato, Walcott and Paloschi are younger than me, and that feels weird and horrible. The fact that these guys are earning thousands/millions when they turned 18 and are playing professional football on tv.

Its also crap how legends or players we've admired are gunna retire soon and the new generation will be younger than us. 3 years ago I would have gone "Barca have this new 18 year old kid!! Hes only 2 years older than me"... now i'd be "Barca have this new 18 year old kid... my god I'm 2 years older than him".
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom