The Random Crap Thread

Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

:: JJ :: said:
Well its a goodbye from me. Think I've hit enough peoples' nerves during my time on here. Hope the door doesn't hit my arse on the way out.
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And I have finally got round to deleting Jons account. May he live a long and peaceful life without us...

Jack Bauer said:
EDIT: Oh, and while I'm here - CW, there's hope for us yet! :D

(I love the way they put a picture of a bald bloke on the side, in-case you couldn't imagine what a bald bloke looked like)
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Interesting news there, I wonder if anything will come of it though
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Jack Bauer said:
Don't worry RuneEdge, your toupee business will take off soon. Once those "official Man Utd toupees, recommended by Sir Alex" flyers get out there you'll shift them in no time, you'll see.
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I dont need flyers. These bad boys sell themselves.
toupee.gif
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

HAHA, another happy customer!
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Thats a bit crap put some effort into it. Ha ha i just heard on the news old peoples home are to get the latest gaming console to get the old biddies going. Wonder what games there gonna play? GTA grandma theft auto.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

It'll be a Wii, surely. They'll be playing Wii golf all day and when somebody loses there'll be fistfights, trust me. My 60-year-old dad has thrown a mouse and a gamepad out of a window before (on seperate occasions I should add, he didn't just start looking for electronic devices to chuck out of the window). They can't handle it.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

butterlubepa0.jpg


LOL
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Fakest post ever, even more fake than the "Pro Evo 7 has a full Premiership license" crap...

A SERIOUS QUESTION follows.

Does anybody find that if they wear their glasses for over an hour that they get blinding headaches? My optician (who I've only used once and I won't be using again) told me that it's normal until you get used to them, but it's been months now. I wake up without a headache, I do work without a headache, I put the glasses on and an hour later I've got a headache.

He also said "a lot of people use the word 'stigmatism', just ignore it" - which really fucking worried me as well.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

I wear my glasses all day and am fine. Maybe your prescription isnt right
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Funny that i just had an eye test and they said i could do with classes but didn't have to get any if i didn't want to? I didn't get any by the way.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

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Lol. :mrgreen:
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Who first decided that popcorn was the thing to be eaten in a cinema?
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

CW said:
Who first decided that popcorn was the thing to be eaten in a cinema?
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Truesay...ban them and those bloody nacho's too

Also, all kids under the age of 16 should be banned - FROM ANY MOVIE....especially those severe attention seeking hoodie wannabee's.

They effing messed up Spiderman 3 for me - the only thing I can hear are those twats chatting (or should I say screaming) bout some bird they clearly didn't have the balls to chat up in school. Some prick had the nerve of revealing the outcome of scenes before it happened(!!!!!). If it wasn't for the fact that I was in a very good mood that day, I would have whacked them...Hard.

I don't care if they give me a bloody Asbo or a GBH order, it would have been worth it :(:mad::mad::mad:
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

rockykabir said:
Truesay...ban them and those bloody nacho's too

Also, all kids under the age of 16 should be banned - FROM ANY MOVIE....especially those severe attention seeking hoodie wannabee's.

They effing messed up Spiderman 3 for me - the only thing I can hear are those twats chatting (or should I say screaming) bout some bird they clearly didn't have the balls to chat up in school. Some prick had the nerve of revealing the outcome of scenes before it happened(!!!!!). If it wasn't for the fact that I was in a very good mood that day, I would have whacked them...Hard.

I don't care if they give me a bloody Asbo or a GBH order, it would have been worth it :(:mad::mad::mad:
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HaHa good old kids, you should have just downloaded it.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

As an 8-year-old girl looked at toys in an Orlando Kmart, a 5-foot-6, 160 pound man with blondish-brown hair politely approached and asked her to open her mouth. Yes, this story gets really nasty. When she refused, he pointed a fish-shaped squirt gun at her, sprayed her face, snapped her photograph and ran. What he shot on her face was not water but semen from inside a squirt gun. The picture he took was going to be used no doubt to help refill the gun.

Apparently this was at least the ninth time -- possibly the 11th -- that a bizarre child molester has struck in the past year, police said.

Most of the squirting incidents have occurred at Wal-Mart stores in Orange County. The man appears to be targeting children who are alone in the toy section of stores.

Forensic psychologist Jeffrey Danziger said the attacker may be acting out a sexual fetish. He also might suffer from a mental illness and be psychotic and delusional. Once again we can thank a forensic psychologist for his take on the fucking obvious.

"Squirting semen in someone's face would be for the purpose of the humiliation, shock and the anger it causes," Danziger said. "He's going back home to relive it and relish it. An assault like this against a child is more twisted still."

He said it was impossible to predict whether the assaults might turn more violent.

"Some sexual offenders are nonviolent, like exhibitionists," he said. "Others might progress, I've heard of strange sexual fetishes, but I've never heard of this."
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WTF?!
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

I'll tel you what made me feel sick today - there's this new advert for nappies, I'm sitting there typing away on the PC and then from the telly come the words "more effectively absorbs wee and soft poo".

SOFT POO?! This was at tea-time!!

It takes a lot to offend me, but my God, that's not right.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

This could be my first serious Random Crap III posting, here we go...

Am I the only one who feels offended by the whole Madeleine McCann situation (not the fact that she's been abducted obviously, but the fact that she is now on every news bulletin and in every newspaper)?

1,000 children are abducted each year in the UK. 100,000 children are abducted each year internationally. So this couple leave their daughter on her own to go to a restaurant, and she's abducted. Now obviously my heart goes out to them, but how would you feel if you were the parents of one of the 999 children in the UK who have been abducted within the last 12 months? How would you feel when the national press chose to run a story about Posh Spice falling over rather than print a picture of your missing child, let alone print it every day, pay for phone lines to remain open and mount a "have you seen this child" campaign across Europe? How would you feel if your child has been missing for years and it feels like nobody will help you find him/her, and yet you put the TV on and now there's celebrities donating millions of pounds to a reward fund for this one, single girl?

I'm sorry if this sounds heartless but really, I think it's disgusting. Why is this case so special to the media? Is it that there isn't enough news to report at the moment? Is it because their daughter looks like she could be a child model and the other kids are too ugly? You can slate me for that if you want, but you tell me why this is such a massive, massive news story, to the point where her parents meeting the Pope is the biggest headline of the day (what the fuck, that is not a development in the story), and yet no other child abduction has had anywhere NEAR this amount of publicity before in the UK - apart from when it's ended with murder. Why is all of this money going towards finding one child?

I hope to God they find her, but I hope to God they find the other 99,999 as well.
 
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Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

I completely agree with you JB. There's a fairly active thread over at PESFan about the disappearance, where myself and others have aired similar views. The media spotlight on this case has gone completely out of hand. And the way some people have decided to jump on the Madeleine bandwagon can only be described as scandalous.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

I totally agree with what you're saying. It's sad that every now and again, you have the whole population going all crazy about a particular story.

Personally, the main reason why it initially got my attention was reading about the shambolic behaviour of the parents. I know I'm gonna get flamed for this, but what self respecting parent will leave their 4 year old daughter and 2 year old twins alone while they wine and dine?! People are so quick to forget this - there are some families who have their children abducted from their own homes under their constant supervision FFS! If anything, the McCanns should be reported for their actions.

Then it was about the alleged rubbish service by the Portugese police. For some reason, there is a national belief that we are better than everyone else and it's seen as a ego booster to show that we can do a better job than Portugal's own police. The newspapers being seen as superheroes saving the innocent? Fleet Street must be loving it! :roll:

My thoughts goes out the Madeleine (sorry, but not the parents) at this time and I hope she reaches her family safely.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

rockykabir said:
My thoughts goes out the Madeleine (sorry, but not the parents) at this time and I hope she reaches her family safely.
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I think that's the view of a lot of people. I really hope the girl is found safe and sound but I have no sympathy toward the parents at all. The were completely irresponsible in the way they acted. No doubt they wont receive any punishment in the matter (apart from the obvious), which they deserve in my view. Isn't it strange how the media can view similar circumstances differently depending on the profession of those involved. If the same thing happened on a council estate in England, social services would've been on them straight away and the family slated by the press.

The whole McCann media circus is a farce and threatens to completely undermine the sad case of a little girl going missing. To be blunt, I think they are embracing that media attention to deflect the spotlight off themselves and their actions. They need to be held accountable in my view.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Didnt this thread get all serious following my spunky gun story....

I feel the need to add to this whole chain of seriousness though. I agree it is ridiculous the amount of media coverage there has been on the whole incident and until they find her it just wont stop. The fact that the parents got an audience with the Pope earlier in the week also seems totally fucking ridiculous
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

I thought I'd get absolutely slated to bits for stating my views on this; nice to see that I'm not alone in thinking that it's too much. I feel guilty, but I just don't see why it's fair that if a girl goes missing from my street it won't even be on the local news, but this girl is made out to be... Well, it's as if that if they find her, all the missing children in the world will be forgotten about. Yeah, we found Madeleine, that's it. Nobody wants to hear about any other missing kids, it's over. I don't understand how this mass media coverage is still happening with so little outcry - I find it utterly sick. I'm telling you now, and you'll disagree with me, but if she wasn't a thin blonde girl with big blue eyes, there wouldn't have been half the fuss (which is an understatement, more like a millionth of the fuss).

It's just your perfect paper seller, putting an angelic four-year-old's face on the front every day and headlines that shout "WHO COULD STEAL THIS? SHE COULD BE BEING MOLESTED! EVEN MURDERED! COME AND READ ABOUT HOW SICK THIS ONE INDIVIDUAL ABDUCTER IS, FORGET THE REST, THIS ONE'S THE BEST!", and it's so fucking wrong.

Regarding the parents, I know people who've been abroad to Spain, Portugal and the like, and it's not part of the culture to leave your child alone while you go out on the piss or anything. And today they've come out with this:
Madeleine's dad said:
We pray that she is looked after and it is someone who wanted a little girl for their own who would look after her very well
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Is it just me or isn't that quite an odd thing to say? If I was in that situation everything I say would have the words "I want my child back" in there somewhere, whereas that seems to be saying "as long as she's alright then, you know"...
 
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Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Jack Bauer said:
Is it just me or isn't that quite an odd thing to say? If I was in that situation everything I say would have the words "I want my child back" in there somewhere, whereas that seems to be saying "as long as she's alright then, you know"...
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That is a bit odd, it should be give me my kid back or im gonna fuck you up you fucker.

I feel sorry for the bloke they questioned well unless he did have something to do with it. The press dragged every single piece of shit up about the him.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Sorry to change the subject but....
starwarscelebration_27.jpg


I dont remember the Star wars with sherlock trooper, batfink trooper and mexican bandit trooper?
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Dee force is weed you, que?
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

We should start a Find Madeleine-style campaign for DJdoc, he's not posted in five days. Now there is an abduction. :|

As long as he's been taken by someone who couldn't have a DJdoc of their own and they are looking after him, talking about how PES "talks bullshit" and how crap the Gran Turismo physics are etc...
 
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