The Random Crap Thread

Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Waaa?! So it's Joey McJones from now on then is it?!
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

I was going to post in here earlier but didnt want to interrupt the banter that was going on, now we have hit a new page I feel its the time to jump in
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Waaa?! So it's Joey McJones from now on then is it?!
Johnny McJones actually...... though the problem is that my faux-Scouse dialect doesn't help me in my conquest to be a Jocky :(

Oh and good afternoon CW, hows life darn saaaaarf? :lol:
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Oh and good afternoon CW, hows life darn saaaaarf? :lol:

Hello there, they dont half have a funny accent down here but so far its going okay
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

I guess its due to the fact that I work with a lot of Scousers, and its rubbing off. People around here use their vocabulary a lot, like "leccy" and calling people "la" or "kidda".... so maybe I'm not alone!

Oh god, imagine a sarf-talking CW..... better still, don't. :eek:
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Oh god, imagine a sarf-talking CW..... better still, don't. :eek:

It aint gonna happen mate, I still have many Northern contacts who I speak to regularly enough so I will never lose my wonderful Northern vocab
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Yeah, the word "cunting" doesn't sound right in sarf-lingo :lol:
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

I've decided to make funny avatars every Saturday, starting from today. Which is ironic, as it's Sunday.

...I have no friends.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

That is a HILARIOUS avatar mate.
I don't know why i've found myself posting in here so much the last two days. Perhaps I'll use it as a blog. Perhaps I should bring back the blogspot site I had because that was also BLOODY HILARIOUS.
Oh yeah, i've just sold 4 Derren Brown tickets on ebay for 15 quid more than I paid for them. CASHBACK.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

I was meant to be going out tonight lads. I had 40 quid (until my ebaying success) so realised I could only really go out tonight then it'd have to wait a couple of weeks as I'm working next Saturday just for further piss up money.
Then my bloody mate WHO WORKS EVERY DAY texts me saying the restaurant he moonlights at have rang him up and he NEEDS THE MONEY. Balls to this shit.
I do have more than one friend, but the rest of them are gay and really difficult to get out so I just sacked it off. I could have gone out with a different group of friends but their FRIEND LEADER (WTF AM I ON ABOUT?) goes to Uni with me so to be frank, I'm fed up of going out with him.
OH WHAT FUN TO BE YOUNG.
 
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Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

And nobody said anything about my April Fool's avatar... :(
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

:lol: That's brilliant! We should definitely start a trend...
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

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Look closely...it's Einstein

Look a bit more further away and it's....? :shock:
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Fuck, is that
Marilyn Monroe
?? That's amazing if it is!!

...Or is it one of those things where your mind sees what it wants to see?
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

^ I always wonder how they do those things!? It took me a while to realize, because it's hard seeing past that tache. But yeah I got it.
:lol: That's brilliant! We should definitely start a trend...
I like this idea. Get everyone in on the action. There is unlimited potential for sure. :D
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Years ago the word "WAG" meant to bunk off school. Now its a term for a fucking bimbo used by the tabloids. Fuck off!!
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

You have a way with words JJ. :lol:

The big heffer from the Halifax adverts is still pissing me off. How they thought that would attract customers is beyond me. :roll:
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

I still have nightmares over the Frosties advert and that little shit, they're gonna taste great they're gonna taste great for fuck sake fuck off bring back Tony the Tiger!!!!!!!
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

I'm back.

Ladies & Gentlemen.....

Stephen W. Hawking


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This crazy bastard has now starred in 3 computer games, an episode of The Simpsons, has appeared on The Sky At Night with Patrick Moore (i taped it, it's like a still image with soundtrack watching Hawks interview), he's released 3 albums under an MC guise and is due this year to release a lifestory audiobook of epic proportions called Pull The Fucking Plug.

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This full metal jacket wearing cyber-killer, Stephen William Hawking, began life in Oxford, England. He won countless Young Scientist Of The Year awards before eventually applying for a place in the local, famous University. During this period, he was courting, quite seriously too, with local bike Tanni Grey Thompson. They rolled to college together, and spent many a night studying the effects of athletic competitions in outer space, and how Lucozade Sport can provide 33% more solar system.

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One day, Stephen decided he'd had enough of complications with the athletic astronomy procedures because no-one took him seriously. He ended up getting drunk, eating mash potatoes all day long and finally deciding to take part in an event that would change his life forever. Chicken in the road.

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He ran out across the street towards the local school fields and to his utter dismay the impact of a brown Ford Orion took him by surprise, it was travelling at a massive 24 m.p.h. and launched the teenage scientist down the road half a mile. By the time the ambulance arrived, the poor chief had consigned himself to the fact his life was to be a formula along the lines of STEVE1=FUCKEDx100

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As the years have passed, Hawking has suffered much trauma in the way of medical & relationship meanings. Firstly his hope of a medical breakthrough in body recovery were dashed when Dr. Bender revealed to him sadly one day that the fact Stephen's vertebrae was broken into 364 pieces, 15 which ended up lodged in his rectum, any hope of a 10% recovery was dashed from the off.

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Months later, his girlfriend was hit by an 18-wheeler delivering 16 tonnes of legs for the scientist to try out, two-by-two. She lost both her legs and was confined to a Colin McRae rally wheelchair. His relationship with Tanni hit a tragic point when after she learnt he can never provide e-jizz to make metal babies due to the fact his penis was in 46 pieces, she began to see fellow robotnic, Christopher Reeve. When Stephen found out about this, he hit the roof - in theory. Tanni left him for Christopher, and his world fell apart.

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After months of e-soul searching and rock bottom sitting in silence, Stephen took a whole new twist on his personal life and decided to download Gay Life, a new revolutionary software for all living robots to enable them to fully change their preferences. This led to Stephen seducing Christopher one cold night in Hammersmith. The ex-Superman had a sore armrest after a fight with Johnny 5, so Stephen downloaded Nurse Role and treated Reeve to more than just e-fixing. A brief fling with TV legend David Hasselhoff occured that same year with explicit screengrabs from Stephens brain-webcam recording appearing to show the scientish giving the Hoff another style of free Pipex subscription. Repeatedly.

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Following being given the push by The Hoff, Hawking booked himself into the Priory. He was rejected as the doors on the padded cells were too thin to fit him through, so he left to join a rival clinic and has since been recording tracks for the afore-mentioned LP named Pull The Fucking Plug. Tracks such as Insane (feat. Dark Monks) and You've Done It All, a Steve Harley cover are already sounding absolutely pathetic. A side project of working for Bill Gates has however earned the Hawkman enough money to keep his electric running.

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Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

I've decided to make funny avatars every Saturday, starting from today. Which is ironic, as it's Sunday.

...I have no friends.
I see you've ditched this practice in favour of K' \\:o/

Oh and that Stephen Hawking shiznit is fucking mental!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

I couldn't think of anything else that was funny. I have one day a month where I could write a script of comedy gold, the rest of the month I just walk around saying "so's your face".
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

I was a big fan of the KOF series, man, SNK made some great games.

Oh and I got 10/10 on that Simpsons quiz as well. But unlike Jack, I got a life! :)
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Van Damme shows how far his careers gone down the pan. A blatant set up.

I got 9/10 on the Simpsons quiz.
 
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