The Random Crap Thread

Yep Guybrush, stumbled onto the thread this morning and was at my desk in tears laughing :LOL:
 
A Liverpudlian walks into a bank in Hope Street and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Australia on business
for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Scouser lad hands over the keys and documents of new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the Log Book and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's Manager and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the rough looking Scouser for using a £120,000 Ferrari
as collateral against a £5000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Scally returns, repays the £5,000 and the interest,
which comes to £15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "£5,000" ?The Scouser replies:"Where else in Liverpool can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41
and expect it to be there when I return'"


Ah, the mind of the True Scouser....

This is why they survive
 
DogDisguise.jpg
 
Did you know Coca Cola used to have cocaine in it? Cocaine is a natural by -product of the plant used to make the concentrate in Coca Cola. Nowadays they just use the part that doesn't have cocaine in.

Oh, and the red and white Santa Claus was created by Coca Cola. St. Nic used to wear green.
 
My girlfriend has decided she wants a tattoo. She's thinking on her hand, back of her neck or a cartoon thing whatever on her arse cheek.

Why? I really don't see the point in tattoos, they look awful for the most part and I'd hate to have to look at a tattoo on her hand constantly. I don't see the point in having a tattoo on the back of your neck when your hair always covers it, and what's the point of one on your arse?

Really don't understand and I'd be pretty disappointed if she got one I think.
 
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Some Tat's are really good and can look very nice, TBH if she is getting one, get plenty of feed back on who you use and check his or hers work out.
A bad Tat is the last thing you want, and try to get her off the back of the hand thing.
 
The back of the hand is by far the worst one, I just think they look AWFUL!

This isn't good :(
 
Agreed, I've never liked tattoos. There's a few ankle ones that are okay, but at the same time it wouldn't make any difference to how attractive the person is (unless you've got a fetish for it or something) so what's the point? I'd be tempted to get a Tranmere one for myself but what's the point, to impress other people? It's not worth it just to show it off and hear "yeah that's nice". Waste of money.
 
Exactly. And 30 years down the line your body has changed and you have this drawing on you which looks out of place.

Rubbish.

If anything I'm going to suggest the butt cheek, at least then it's covered up for the most part. Unless she starts mooning people so she can show her tattoo off, then I certainly wouldn't be impressed :LOL:
 
She probably would as well, the whole point of getting one is to show it off isn't it? If anyone asks to see it then it'll "just be a bit of fun", a bit cheeky etc... Even if the other person is thinking "nice easy way to get a look at her arse".

I wouldn't be happy if that happened with me, I'd be telling her to get one on her ankle or the back of her neck or something.
 
I like most tattoos, though some can look shockingly bad. I already have one on my shoulder blade, and am currently designing a half sleeve that I'd like to have done later in the year. I'll probably have more done at some point too (they can become addictive!).

What they have done is personal choice, though where they have it needs a bit of thought. For example: having one on your hand might seem good to you, but a lot of people would form an opinion without talking to you. Look at Cheryl Cole. Quite stunning to most people, but most of them think she's a chav because of that tribal thing on her hand, as well as the tacky floral thing on her leg.

Personally I don't like any ink that people have done behind the ear or on their neck. Tribal tattoos are too common & chavy nowadays, as are most generic 'tramp stamps' (a flower, bow, etc on the lower back).

Plus, after 20 years or so the colour will fade. So if it's a colour tat you'll probably need to have it touched up or it'll look like a smudge!

I highly recommend that they get a design down on paper, and if after a few months they definately want it then go for it. I know several friends who rushed out, not knowing quite what they wanted, and now either wished they'd had something else or have had something added to it.

Has she got any ideas in mind yet Dags?
Wind her up & tell her you're thinking of getting a pound note put on your wang, because you like to 'watch your money grow'! There are other quips to that but I'll leave them to the other lads ;)
 
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