The England Topic

Matt1234 said:
Lets keep this thread for England's wc qualifiers, this thread will never die!!!
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there's a perfectly good thread in the footy section ;)

good to see ya got back ok JJC
 
Yep

i would have one for Scotland but theres so many to choose from

mabye ill dig out a Faroe Islands or Lithuania avatar
 
Ha ha!


Fast forward to 2006 - it is just before Scotland v Brazil at the next World Cup Group game. Ronaldo goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're sh*te and we can't be bothered".

Ronaldo looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Ronaldo goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few jars. After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Brazil 1 - Scotland 0 (Ronaldo 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!

Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.

"Result from the Stadium "Brazil 1 (Ronaldo 10 minutes) - Scotland 1
(Angus 89 minutes)".

They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against
Scotland!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find
him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his
hands.

He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down."

"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland, all by yourself. And
they only scored at the very, very end!"

"No, No, I have, I've let you down... I got sent off after 12 minutes
 
Never heard that joke, so LMAO. Funny shit. :mrgreen:
 
Jeez Jim your pulling them out from the closet, I heard that when Laurdrup used to play for Rangers.



FD
 
If you learn to read, someone said the exact same thing.........not sure why I need a point then and they don't?


FD
 
More jokes

Ronaldo, Luis Figo and Wayne Rooney are standing before God at the throne of Heaven.

God looks at them and says; "Before granting you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in."

Addressing Ronaldo first he asks, "What do you believe?"

Ronaldo looks God in the eye and states passionately, "I believe football to be the food of life. Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so many people from the slums of Rio to the bright lights of Madrid. I have devoted my life to bring such joy to people who stood on the terraces supporting their club."

God looks up and offers Ronaldo the seat to his left.

He then turns to Luis Figo, "And you, Luis, what do you believe?"

Figo stands tall and proud, "I believe courage, honor and passion are the fundamentals to life and I've spent my whole playing career providing a living embodiment of these traits."

God, moved by the passion of the speech offers Figo the seat to his right.

Finally, he turns to Wayne Rooney , "And you, Wayne, what do you believe?"

"I believe", says Rooney, "that you're sitting in my seat."
 
:mrgreen: hehe............I said 'get out you fuck-pigs' when England got knocked out, although I've already said my piece on that. I deserved it, but wasn't exactly pointing it at the actual team or fans.


FD
 
csaunders said:
More jokes

Ronaldo, Luis Figo and Wayne Rooney are standing before God at the throne of Heaven.

God looks at them and says; "Before granting you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in."

Addressing Ronaldo first he asks, "What do you believe?"

Ronaldo looks God in the eye and states passionately, "I believe football to be the food of life. Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so many people from the slums of Rio to the bright lights of Madrid. I have devoted my life to bring such joy to people who stood on the terraces supporting their club."

God looks up and offers Ronaldo the seat to his left.

He then turns to Luis Figo, "And you, Luis, what do you believe?"

Figo stands tall and proud, "I believe courage, honor and passion are the fundamentals to life and I've spent my whole playing career providing a living embodiment of these traits."

God, moved by the passion of the speech offers Figo the seat to his right.

Finally, he turns to Wayne Rooney , "And you, Wayne, what do you believe?"

"I believe", says Rooney, "that you're sitting in my seat."
Click to expand...

i believe that can be found in the joke thread :)
 
fd1972uk said:
:mrgreen: hehe............I said 'get out you fuck-pigs' when England got knocked out, although I've already said my piece on that. I deserved it, but wasn't exactly pointing it at the actual team or fans.


FD
Click to expand...

I'd say the booking was a tad harsh, what's wrong witht that?
 
JimJoeC said:
fd1972uk said:
:mrgreen: hehe............I said 'get out you fuck-pigs' when England got knocked out, although I've already said my piece on that. I deserved it, but wasn't exactly pointing it at the actual team or fans.


FD
Click to expand...

I'd say the booking was a tad harsh, what's wrong witht that?
Click to expand...


No it wasn't harsh, if I had worded it better it would've been (actually don't think I would've got booked) but I just typed that, so some people possibly took offence and I can understand why. Even a fellow Scot commented on it, I deserved it for being a silly chooky. :mrgreen:


FD
 
has this now turned into the why has this scottish poster and why has that scottish poster been booked? we all know why!!! :mrgreen: ;)
 
FD - what hurts worse: Getting carded or being slammed by my dope rhymez in the Rap Thread? :mrgreen:
 
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