Nick Cave
Wrexham fan for my sins...
Who the hell is this fat gob shite, and why the hell should I care how big his kids are...
The ALL-NEW Caption Competition
- Thread starter Chris Davies
- Start date
Who the hell is this fat gob shite, and why the hell should I care how big his kids are...
TikTikTikTikTik
*****
- 7 August 2004
- Liverpool
"Right, give me back my mobile phone you f#$king geriatric African before I judo-chop you!"
TikTikTikTikTik
*****
- 7 August 2004
- Liverpool
More a paper headline then a caption, but......
"Gorden Down with Nelson Mandela"
(see what I did there Jack?, mixed ghetto with his name, briljant isnt it?! Obviously your GF will get it, but I thought I'd explain it for you)
"Gorden Down with Nelson Mandela"
(see what I did there Jack?, mixed ghetto with his name, briljant isnt it?! Obviously your GF will get it, but I thought I'd explain it for you)
TikTikTikTikTik
*****
- 7 August 2004
- Liverpool
Obviously it would have helped to spell Gordon correctly........
Jumbo_
-
His rendition of the classic schoolyard prank 'Gimme5/UpHigh/DownLow/TooSlow' had gone down like a Thai Ladyboy on heat when he ran it by Bush at the Whitehouse but by the looks of Mandela's reaction, Brown would have to try something a little more sophisticated to impress this old gun.
Coopz
Retired Footballer
- 27 April 2002
Mandela - "Same Old Shit, Different day"
Last edited:
Coopz
Retired Footballer
- 27 April 2002
Mandela - "You seem to have put a bit of weight on Tony"
- Staff
- #1,359
Coopz
Retired Footballer
- 27 April 2002
Brown - "Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, your files say you've served 27 years of a life sentence. Do you feel you've been rehabilitated?"
Mandela - "There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm in here, or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone and this old man is all that's left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It's just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit."
Last edited:
Jumbo_
-
Coopz that was deep man.
BobbyBox
WING NUT!
- 10 October 2003
- Arsenal
Brown - "Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, your files say you've served 27 years of a life sentence. Do you feel you've been rehabilitated?"
Mandela - "There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm in here, or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone and this old man is all that's left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It's just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit."
Do you reckon Morgan Freeman should play Mandela in his Life story?
The Shawshank Redemption is a brilliant film
Coopz
Retired Footballer
- 27 April 2002
He looks like Morgan Freeman in that pic so i though of an apt quote from Shawshank
Do you reckon Morgan Freeman should play Mandela in his Life story?
The Shawshank Redemption is a brilliant film
He certainly got the looks for it
don't think it would ever beat Shawshank though
- Staff
- #1,367
Revan
out the window
G - She was this big.
N - O'Rely?
Jumbo_
-
"Yo Mandeli! Shed me some skin bredrin! Wahgwannin an ting!" cried Gordon, keen to impress.
"No!" cried Mandela, keen for this dick to get out of his house and out of his country.
- Thread starter
- Staff
- #1,370
This is it. The final round's results.
Remember; jumberto needs a first place finish and a second place finish, along with Dermot not scoring at all, to win.
It's such an epic ending that I've spoilered each result, to add a bit of drama to the occasion.
Who will win the chocolate trophy, the most esteemed prize of Evo-Web's Off-Topic Discussion forum?
Let's find out, bitches.
SEASON FOUR: FINAL ROUND RESULTS
HER LIST
1st Place:
2nd Place:
3rd Place:
MY LIST
1st Place:
2nd Place:
3rd Place:
The caption competition will be back next Sunday; until then, enjoy your week's break, comedians and comediennes. 
Remember; jumberto needs a first place finish and a second place finish, along with Dermot not scoring at all, to win.
It's such an epic ending that I've spoilered each result, to add a bit of drama to the occasion.
Who will win the chocolate trophy, the most esteemed prize of Evo-Web's Off-Topic Discussion forum?
Let's find out, bitches.
SEASON FOUR: FINAL ROUND RESULTS
HER LIST
1st Place:
jumberto
His rendition of the classic schoolyard prank 'Gimme5/UpHigh/DownLow/TooSlow' had gone down like a Thai Ladyboy on heat when he ran it by Bush at the Whitehouse but by the looks of Mandela's reaction, Brown would have to try something a little more sophisticated to impress this old gun.
His rendition of the classic schoolyard prank 'Gimme5/UpHigh/DownLow/TooSlow' had gone down like a Thai Ladyboy on heat when he ran it by Bush at the Whitehouse but by the looks of Mandela's reaction, Brown would have to try something a little more sophisticated to impress this old gun.
2nd Place:
tiktiktik
Right, give me back my mobile phone you f#$king geriatric African before I judo-chop you!
Right, give me back my mobile phone you f#$king geriatric African before I judo-chop you!
3rd Place:
Radiation
Mandela started to regret having a second helping of brussel sprouts earlier in the day and could only hope the fart he was about to lean to one side and release would be silent.
Mandela started to regret having a second helping of brussel sprouts earlier in the day and could only hope the fart he was about to lean to one side and release would be silent.
MY LIST
1st Place:
Nick Cave
Who the hell is this fat gob shite, and why the hell should I care how big his kids are...
Who the hell is this fat gob shite, and why the hell should I care how big his kids are...
2nd Place:
Coopz
"You seem to have put a bit of weight on Tony!"
"You seem to have put a bit of weight on Tony!"
3rd Place:
Dermot
"The time, Mr. Mandela??? Well, hold on a sec... Let me look at my really really ridiculously expensive Rolex watch I ordered handmade from Mr. Rolex himself."
"The time, Mr. Mandela??? Well, hold on a sec... Let me look at my really really ridiculously expensive Rolex watch I ordered handmade from Mr. Rolex himself."
IT WAS SO CLOSE BUT DERMOT HAS JUST PIPPED JUMBERTO TO THE POST!
CONGRATULATIONS TO THE EVO-WEB CAPTION COMPETITION'S FOURTH SEASON WINNER, DERMOT!
Second place jumberto should still be proud after a fantastic season, and third place jj710 was the most successful newcomer we've had in a while. Congratulations to everybody.
Send me a PM when you've read this Dermot, tell me what British chocolate bar you want (value of £1 or less) and I'll get it sent out to you.
CONGRATULATIONS TO THE EVO-WEB CAPTION COMPETITION'S FOURTH SEASON WINNER, DERMOT!
Second place jumberto should still be proud after a fantastic season, and third place jj710 was the most successful newcomer we've had in a while. Congratulations to everybody.
Send me a PM when you've read this Dermot, tell me what British chocolate bar you want (value of £1 or less) and I'll get it sent out to you.
Last edited:
TikTikTikTikTik
*****
- 7 August 2004
- Liverpool
Chris, your gf wants me. First effort in months and I'm in her list again! 
First of all I'd like to thank Chris Wright for being the biggest influence in my comedic career. Without him my life would be nothing and I would like to take this opportunity to dedicate this victory to him. Chris Wright has been steamrolled from behind from Mart and the entire admin team in these last few weeks, stripped naked and left out in the rain for all to view. After all he has done here for Evo, and now this. Nonsense. Mr. Davies, if I may I would like to do something that has never been done before in the captioncomp history, this may come as a shock to you all but I'd like to donate my entire chocolate bar to my one and only hero Chris Wright. Do you think you could co-ordinate that? I would still like to pick the bar if that's okay. Secondly I'd like to thank my parents, not for helping me with this but they bailed me out last week after I wrapped a stolen fire truck around a tree, if I had still been imprisoned I wouldn't have been able to submit this week, which brings me to the final person i want to thank; the girlfriend of Chris Davies. She's been stellar this entire season and the huge rock behind the shipful of holes that is Chris Davies. Did I influence things a little by posting pictures of cute little animals such as this?
Maybe, but we are not going to dwell on that, it was merely a once off tactic when things didn't look like they were going to swing my way that week. I said that the girlfriend of Chris Davies was the final person I wanted to thank but now I realise there are some more people I want to thank. I really should thank Chris Davies too, even though he stole the idea of the caption comp completely from me, plus secretly he despises me from years of torment and abuse over MSN, caling him fat, sad, ugly and manic depressive, sometimes not in that order. I didn't mean any of it and if anything it was a reflection on how pathetic I was as an individual. Chris, I never meant any of that, although you could do with losing a few pounds just so you could become the complete package. Also that yellow hair you had was so ridiclous, the photos with the sunglasses on indoors with no sun....my God. Also I should thank jumberto even though he will try every which way possible to cheat. The entire caption comp WAS RIGGED last season and this really should be two in a row here for Mr. Dermot. Mentally...I won last season, this season makes it official. Thanks to all my fans, I have a fan page, which I maintain myself if anyones interested, so far we have a base of 1, which is me, but that number is expected to grow, at least double, by next season, when Chris Davies girlfriend hops on board.
Isn't that right the girlfriend of Chris Davies???
Maybe, but we are not going to dwell on that, it was merely a once off tactic when things didn't look like they were going to swing my way that week. I said that the girlfriend of Chris Davies was the final person I wanted to thank but now I realise there are some more people I want to thank. I really should thank Chris Davies too, even though he stole the idea of the caption comp completely from me, plus secretly he despises me from years of torment and abuse over MSN, caling him fat, sad, ugly and manic depressive, sometimes not in that order. I didn't mean any of it and if anything it was a reflection on how pathetic I was as an individual. Chris, I never meant any of that, although you could do with losing a few pounds just so you could become the complete package. Also that yellow hair you had was so ridiclous, the photos with the sunglasses on indoors with no sun....my God. Also I should thank jumberto even though he will try every which way possible to cheat. The entire caption comp WAS RIGGED last season and this really should be two in a row here for Mr. Dermot. Mentally...I won last season, this season makes it official. Thanks to all my fans, I have a fan page, which I maintain myself if anyones interested, so far we have a base of 1, which is me, but that number is expected to grow, at least double, by next season, when Chris Davies girlfriend hops on board.
Isn't that right the girlfriend of Chris Davies???
Last edited:
Joe
International
- 9 August 2004
:applaud:
Coopz
Retired Footballer
- 27 April 2002
Ooo my first go and i got some points
Jumbo_
-
Well done Dermot 
JB - you're treading on thin ice now matey, that secret you told me could be on it's way out anytime now...
JB - you're treading on thin ice now matey, that secret you told me could be on it's way out anytime now...
- Thread starter
- Staff
- #1,377
It is yours to do with what you wish.
:|JB - you're treading on thin ice now matey, that secret you told me could be on it's way out anytime now...
In a last minute twist...
Coopz
Retired Footballer
- 27 April 2002
What bar will CW get
- 6 October 2001
- Liverpool
I hadn't even looked at this thread until now as I never play or read anything that goes on in this mad little world, thanks Dermot and The Bauers for the Kit-Kat