Said I'd stay away, couldn't help myself when I heard there was some "maintenance" going on. Thought I'd check it out again to see if the lagginess was any better (but I've realised it's part and parcel of the gameplay - read on).
First game is against the pleasantly named "WhatsMyMfkinName". Takes the maximum amount of time on every pause screen. Pauses the game twice for a couple of minutes at a time. Has the whole Man City team, plus Romário and a few other legends. Was 2-0 up before long, and when I got one back started passing along the back line with impunity until it finished 2-1.
Just another reminder that online gaming isn't for me and likely never will be unless I can apply an age filter, or a skill level filter that actually works. I honestly don't understand how it's enjoyable to anybody in the Mfkin world.
Anyway.
It's absolutely clear to me now that when you come up against stronger teams, your players just start "acting up" (the way that a low "team spirit" would do in PES). Any illusion of freedom disappears entirely.
Response times increase, first touches become wild, but most frustratingly (as a non-manual player), your passes start going directly to opposition players (forget making any pass beyond 30ft, you'll just give the ball away), and your shots are far more often off-target.
Even the "teammate press" function is nowhere near as effective - the defender will simply jog behind the opponent and not tackle them.
I lose games to stronger teams not because they play better, or their passes and shots are more accurate, but because my own players become useless. If that's how you differentiate teams (and PES has always done it this way) then...
A) What's the point in picking up the controller and pretending that you control anything?
B) It will very quickly become a "pay to win" experience. Which is exactly what the goal of eFootball was from the beginning.
(Microtransactions are now available, by the way, so 24hrs from now, let's see how much worse it gets.)