The Random Crap Thread

That made me laugh, haha.

I got another one of these, damn I am popular!!

FROM THE DESK OF
MR YAKUBU DANJUMA
THE BILL & EXCHANGE
MANAGER BANK COMMERCIAL DU BURKINA (BCB)

Dear Friend,

I must solicit your confidence in this transaction.This is by virtue of its
nature as being utterly CONFIDENTIAL AND TOP SECRET. However after series of
petition was recieved by this present regime from foreign contractors and
inability of the BANK COMMERCIAL DU BURKINA (BCB)to fulfill their obligation
for the payment to its foreign creditors, in conjunction with the council of
ministers,

they mandated us to carry out a careful and comprehensive review of
all overdue payments to foreign contractors and to effect payments immediately.
During the above mentioned process, we discovered an abandoned sum of US$16.M (sixteen
million US dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer
who died along with his entire family in a plane crash that happened in Kenya, East
Africa.

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting
his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it
unless some body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as
indicated in our banking guidelines and laws but unfortunately we learnt that
all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash
leaving no one to inherit the claim.

Please I want you to visit the website below for more information
about the Plane Crash:www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/07/20/kenya.crash/index.html

It is therefore upon this discovery that other officials in my department and I
now decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you
as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent
disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the
bank treasury as unclaimed bill.

I agree that 40% of this money will be for you as a
foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign account,and 50% would
be for us, while 10% will be for expenses incured during the transaction. There
after I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentage
indicated.

Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you as arranged,
you must apply first to the bank as a relation or next of kin of the deceased
indicating your bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and
fax number for easy and effective communication and location wherein the money
will be remitted.

Upon the receipt of your reply, I will send to you by email the text of the
application to fill and send to the bank. I will not fail to bring to your
notice that this transaction is hitch-free risk and this transaction will only take
us 14 banking days because as a banker, I know what to do and move the fund into your
account without any delay and thatyou should not entertain any atom of fear as
all required arrangement have been made for the transfer.

You should contact me as soon as you receive this letter so that I will send you the text of the
application to apply to the bank and the data information of the deceased customer.



YOUR FAITHFULLY
MR YAKUBU DANJUMA
THE BILL & EXCHANGE
MANAGER BANK commercial du Burkina
CONTACT ADDRESS yakubu_danjuma88@yahoo.com

All these people wanting to give me moolah, how generous. :D
 
The mystery Revel flavour is definitely strawberry milkshake.

(And I like it, for the record, but they should have got rid of Maltesers and not the coffee one)
 
Got this E-mail today

Ferrari Sack Pit Crew!

The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The
announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British
government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ some Liverpudlian youngsters.

The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on
how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in
less than 6 seconds without proper equipment whereas Ferrari's existing crew
could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech
equipment.

It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari
management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving
Ferrari an advantage over every other team.

However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for!

At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all
four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged
and sold the car to the Mclaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Alonso's bird in the shower.
 
They should have got rid of the raisins, fuckers. They're gross. And the new flavor is gross, I'm still convinced it's strawberry or turkish delight.
 
I love bad joke headlines:

Santa sacked despite elf warning
Thursday, November 27 2008, 17:56 GMT

A Santa was apparently sacked after ignoring a warning from his elf and asking visitors to sit on his lap.

Selfridges hired Andrew Mondia, 32, as one of a squad of Santas to hand out presents at their in-store grotto. However, Mondia claimed that he was given the boot three days into the job after a customer complained that he had asked if she wanted to sit on his knee.

"I had no intention of offending her, I just wanted to include her in the moment. Christmas is for adults too," he told The Guardian.

Selfridges said Santas were told that no-one should sit on their laps and that they must not "promote" anyone to do so. Mondia's elf had apparently warned him about his behaviour and a supervisor then told him that his Christmas services would no longer be needed.

A spokesman said: "Unfortunately, this particular Santa didn't behave in line with his training or the standards we've set so we acted swiftly and asked him to leave."

Mondia insisted that he was being his "innocent" self. "I was shocked when they told me - I couldn't believe I've been sacked for being too friendly," he said.

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/odd/a136870/santa-sacked-despite-elf-warning.html

Chocolate Jesus branded "tasteless"
Thursday, November 27 2008, 06:30 GMT

A German businessman selling chocolates made in Jesus's image has been criticised by churches in the country.

Frank Oynhausen has received thousands of orders for his Sweet Lord confectionery, which he claimed restores traditional Christmas values.

However, religious figures in Germany do not approve of the sweets. "It is terrible that Jesus is being wrapped up in gold foil and sold along with chocolate bunnies, edible penguins and lollipops," Aegidius Engel, a representative of the archbishopric of nearby Paderborn, told Reuters.

"This is ruining the symbol of Jesus himself."

Oynhausen is now custom-producing the chocolates, but is hoping to distribute outside of Germany soon.

He said: "We're hoping to be able to export them around the world one day."

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/odd/a136830/chocolate-jesus-branded-tasteless.html
 
They're nice the coffee ones!

On a random note, our cat now has a new favorite place to sit... On our PS3. I guess it must be warm or something, either that or she wants a go of LBP...
 
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Pfff.
 
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