The Random Crap Thread

Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Only occasionally
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

fd1972uk said:
So do you mean that you wouldn't mind getting Semengulled on a regular basis then? :shock:


FD
Click to expand...

Of course...who wouldn't....:shock: Nah but it was just good being at school and playing pranks and shit lol
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

From urbandictionary.com :D

Seagulling is a variation on the sexual practice of bukkake, with the crucial difference that in this case the recipients are unwilling.

One person learns about two people that are going to have sex and works out the location of the aforementioned event. Then he gathers as many guys as possible and packs them into the room where it's going to take place. The guys hide in cupboards, behind curtains - basically, wherever there is a place to hide. Then when the couple look like they're about to finish, everyone runs out and ejaculates all over them and then proceeds to run around them, flapping their arms like birds and making seagull noises.


"Mike's friends thought seagulling on him and Susan would be great fun, so they all hid until the time was right"

Fucking hell!!
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

MarlboroMan said:
if u wanna start somethign u better be ready to deal with us

bunchoffags7qx.jpg


letwoose said:
I'd really be worried about the guy on the far left. I hear he plays a mean banjo.

banjoboy7by.jpg
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

:lol: :lmao:
 
Last edited:
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

That's the last time I dream of becoming a football coach. Went "training" with my nephew and his football team today, played in various positions but mostly as a winger (which is knackering when you haven't played any sport since those bastard days at school where you were forced to take part whilst wearing whatever "clothes" were in the "spare P.E. kit" box and making a complete tit of yourself), and goalkeeper.

Turns out one of the little bastards can hit a shot harder than Rooney after he's been at an OAP orgy. From very close range. Which I had to try and save so I didn't look like a gay. And now I can't move several fingers on my left hand (at least it wasn't the right I suppose, ahem).

If you don't see me posting as often for a while, you know why. I've gone from 70 wpm to about 3. It's a bit hard to type with ice-lolly sticks keeping your fingers from dropping off.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

A scouser, who had recieved over £23,000 of disability benefits, has been given a one year prison sentance. The 49 year old claimed to be injured in the fact that he could only walk a short distance after an accident. This was in 1996. Now in 2006 he has been filmed running 10 miles and at stages jogging for an hour straight. It is believed he raced in over 23 marathons and has been taped driving, training and freely moving around with no problems.

The man, in court, said he was embarrassed and had genuinly forgot to contact the DWP and also added that "community service may be a fitting punishment."
Click to expand...

Genius :)
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

I have to admit but I done something bad........ I beat my girlfriend up this morning :(




































I got up at 9, she woke up half an hour after :|
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

leg end if you don't mind ;)
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Yeah but no but yeah but no but.............. whatever :roll:
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

A French couple who had their bodies frozen in in the hope that medical science would one day be able to resurrect them have had to be sent up the chimney after a bit of bother with the leccy.

Cryonics pioneer Doctor Raymond Martinot stuck his wife in cold storage back 1984. He paid for his massive refrigeration bill by inviting tourists to gawp at the chest freezer. Son Remy added Ray to the stiff collection in the crypt of their chateau when he too snuffed it in 2002.

A bitter Remy recounted the disaster to AFP: "I realised in February that after a technical incident their temperature had risen to -20C probably for several days. The alert system [on the freezer] had not worked and I decided at that point that it was not reasonable to continue."

The cruel twist must be a real kick in the teeth for Remy, who had fought a long-running legal battle with authorities to be allowed to keep his folks on ice. When court ordered them in January to be buried or cremated, Remy said he would appeal the decision at the European Court of Human Rights
Click to expand...
Oh dear :lol:
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Thats funny!

Can we fix it! YES we can!
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

To revive this thread, I'm here to announce that i'm drinking beer today till I the ground touches my forehead!
Thank you. :mrgreen:
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

I didn't want to put this in the martial arts thread for fear of getting another ban. Are there any martial art i could learn that would help me be able to suck my own penis?
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

jay666 said:
I didn't want to put this in the martial arts thread for fear of getting another ban. Are there any martial art i could learn that would help me be able to suck my own penis?
Click to expand...
you should try yoga, before i started yoga i couldn't get anywhere near my own genitals, but after they started teaching it at the local scout hut i went along to a few sessions, i can now lick my own ballsac.
Also, didn't some famous musician have some ribs removed so they could do this? So maybe you could ask your doctor to remove some if the yoga fails?
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Thanks mate i'll try yoga as i would like to do it leaning back rather than just bending thats way to easy.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

jay666 said:
I didn't want to put this in the martial arts thread for fear of getting another ban. Are there any martial art i could learn that would help me be able to suck my own penis?
Click to expand...
LOL:applause:
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

marilyn manson got his ribs removed, the bottom 2 (well so he bragged about in interviews,)
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom