Red fan offers his perspective on Pompey:
Principally and despite me wanting to love him for May 26th 1999, Teddy Sheringham proved to the world what he is and always has been, second-rate, laughably lauding his scant consolatory goal in front of the Arsenal fans.
If that was bad then listening to Portsmouth's happy clappy new-fan supporters 'great escape' their way through the second-half in between applauding Arsenal's players was as big a death knell for football as I've heard or seen.
They will, of course, retort that Manchester United supporters gave Ronaldo a standing ovation at Old Trafford last season but they'd be missing the point. That was a World Player of the Year who'd destroyed the nations premier football team with just three touches. He deserved respect.
Lets get things in order, Portsmouth are just a shitty provincial team whose shitty provincial fans creamed themselves on live TV when being dumped, and they were severely dumped, out of a domestic competition. Arsenal, if they are as good as we're led to believe, should have beaten them by at least five. No questions, no mass ejaculations.
No finer or more sickening display of 'aren't we great cos we're shit' nineties football fan behaviour have we seen outside Maine Rd / Eastlands.
Don't get me wrong though, this is not an attack on Portsmouth designed to get a reaction, it's just that Portsmouth happen to fit quite neatly into the mould of a club that epitomises everything wrong about promotion and relegation. On Saturday we will hopefully aid Portsmouth's rightful fall back into Division One.
Harsh? Let me offer an explanation.
The Premiership is dubbed so for a reason, it contains, or rather should contain, the nations premier clubs. Consequently it would be unthinkable for Leeds to go down and it shouldn't happen. Likewise I'm pleased that Southampton have managed to consolidate when for years it looked as though we'd lose them too. West Ham and the Sheffield clubs, despite Wednesday's band, are sad losses to a once great league. They are proper decent sized clubs worthy of their Premiership status.
Their crowds alone prove this, Southampton have consistently filled St Mary's and Leeds, despite all looking lost, have had very impressive crowds that their plight doesn't deserve. Fair play to both of them but more importantly the supporter to jester's hat / face-paint ratio is low. Portsmouth have historically small crowds but an evidently high number of plums if their FA Cup and League visits to OT count for anything.
It's the not the same at Everton, Tottenham, Forest (please can we have them back!), Sheffield United or West Ham. Big clubs and whilst they have their share of knob-heads they'd never be caught dead applauding the side mauling theirs in the cup and they certainly wouldn't do so in crazy wigs and fancy-dress. As well as that I'm betting you can get Fratton Park to 'stand up if you hate the Turks'! I rest my case.
Something should be done and whilst I don't condone what goes on in Glasgow/Belfast I'm all for a bit of mild-sectarianism in football.
Singing "5-0 and you still won't sing" to Arsenal fans is probably thought to be quirky on the South Coast, a bit cutting-edge, but in doing so they pigeon-hole themselves along-side the Swindon's and Barnsley's of this world. In defence of Arsenal, only where Portsmouth and their ilk are concerned, "who the fuckin hell are you?"
The cure? Let's banish these awful little outpost clubs.
In the Premiership Portsmouth aren't alone so lets not center our wrath on them, for starters the Midlands sides should be banned from at least the top two tiers of the game if recent exposures to Birmingham, Wolves and historically, but perhaps not to the same extent, Villa supporters are anything to go by, all seriously small-time and an embarrassment to themselves and their clubs. They've had their one-year Premiership season ticket all of five minutes and they delight in questioning Manchester United's support because they've seen Rory McGrath, Frank Skinner and Nick Hancock do it on telly.
If you need any more help spotting one you can always tell a desperately small and insignificant club because their fans also go all out to prove that their local derby is the most important, passionate and intimidating of them all. I refer, in the case of Portsmouth, to their recent 'rioting' after victory over Southampton.
They get their first win in what isn't even a proper derby since god knows when and they mark it by throwing stuff at the police. A few kids chucking stones at the authorities or spitting at Southampton's coaches constitutes historical passion in the eyes of supporters from clubs such as Portsmouth, when in fact the rest of the world didn't and never will care.
Anyway, what's the moral to this rant? The moral is that it's about time we allowed some proper football clubs back into the Premiership by default. Bring on Forest, Sheff Utd or even QPR. Lets be rid of these tin-pot clubs with their terrace bands, 'back in the big-time' merchandise and self-depreciating 'humour'. They are very small clubs purpose built by nature for the very small leagues.
That said a Champions League qualifier in Eastern Europe and the threat of city going down are very very appealing. I've changed my mind - play up Pompey! How does that great escape tune go again?
Enjoy the game…
lol.
