The Random Crap Thread

Vain model convicted of lying about her age
An aspiring model who shaved eight years off her age in a bid to make it big in America narrowly escaped jail. British Saskia Porter, then 35, was convinced she had to recapture her late 20s at least on paper if the Hollywood job offer she had received was to going to become a signed contract.

Excited by the prospect it might also lead to presenting a television show, she lost little time forging her birth certificate and changing 1971 into 1979. Porter then used it to get a replacement passport, telling the authorities her dog had dined on her old one, London’s Southwark Crown Court heard.

Peter Zinner, prosecuting, explained that seven months later she sent it to the American embassy staff with a visa application. "They checked her passport against their records which showed she had not only travelled to the US in the past but that on this occasion her date of birth had been eight years earlier."
Saskia+Porter.jpg

Mighty fine looking woman!

Porter, now 36, of Tyrwhitt Road, Lewisham, south-east London, pleaded guilty to making an untrue statement for the purpose of obtaining a passport on March 19 last year, and possessing false identity documents.

Passing sentence the judge told her: "Although, of course, normally it is a woman’s privilege not to tell the exact truth about her age, that does not apply when you are completing details for an application for a passport. Quite clearly this case is a serious matter.

"But while this case would ordinarily attract an immediate sentence of imprisonment due to the security risks to both the United States and the United Kingdom, it was motivated by vanity rather than for a nefarious reason. So I can find exceptional circumstances that would allow me to suspend the nine month sentence I would otherwise have passed for 12 months."

from Nothing To Do With Arbroath.
 
Nice to see someone else browsing the Arbroath website :TU:

:lmao: That cat video is superb, it's face is hilarious!
 
We have another foot wash up... What the hell is going on... :LOL:

A severed human foot inside a shoe has been found a beach near one of Sweden's most popular tourist resorts, police said.

Police spokesman Christer Harplinger said the puzzling find was made in Tylosand, near Halmstad on Sweden's south-west coast.

"We've found a shoe containing a sock, with a foot inside it," he said.

It was not immediately clear how the shoe was discovered.

Mr Harplinger said it is too early to tell the shoe and foot were related to a crime, but that they will be sent to a forensic laboratory to see if it matches anyone registered as a missing person in Sweden.

In Canada, several human feet have been found inside running shoes on island shorelines along the Strait of Georgia. The finds have confused authorities who have yet to determine on their origins.
 
Amazing really, to think there'll be people now in one area of Canada and now in Sweden walking constantly in circles, and the police haven't spotted the poor bastards...
 
Haha, would love it to be the Anti-Chav Great White aiming for all the Rockports.. Either that or some extreme Swedish fetishists returning home from a "shoot" in Canada.
 
Mr Harplinger said it is too early to tell the shoe and foot were related to a crime,
Click to expand...

I must be missing something here.. in what instance would a severed foot not be related to a crime? How many people cut their feet off and throw them in the sea?:SS
 
Lonely jellyfish sting victims with water infections, who carry knives.

Sorry, I just have to stick up for these groups of people sometimes, I feel harsh when they ain't remembered!
 
JEREMY KYLE RAPPED FOR SHOWING A SCOTSMAN

THE Jeremy Kyle show has been censured by the television watchdog Ofcom for broadcasting a Scotsman during a daytime programme.

The regulator ruled the ITV show was in clear breach of the broadcasting code which places severe restrictions on the use of live Scots.

An Ofcom spokesman said: "These people can only be shown on screen if there is a valid editorial reason, and they are accompanied by a solicitor or their words are read by an actor.

"In the space of 20 seconds we heard four 'fuds', an 'erse', at least two 'keechs', and one 'gerrit right up ye, ya fuckin' shitebag'."

He added: "There were also five 'boabies', a 'basturt', three 'chebs', a 'bam', two 'fannybawz' and a 'come aheid ya fuckin' dobber'. We believe much of it may be offensive."

A spokesman for ITV said the show's Manchester-based staff had mistakenly invited the Scotsman onto the programme thinking he was either Bulgarian or mentally retarded.

He apologised for any bad language, but pointed out that the show would have escaped censure if it had not been for a single complaint 'from some c*nt in Aberdeen'.
 
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