The ALL-NEW Caption Competition

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4 months later

Guy behind: "...Brian...Brian its Ritchie..."

Fat guy: "..."

Guy behind: "Brian....Brian, this ends today"

Fat guy: "How many times Ritch, how many times do we have to argue over this, I'm not coming down for nobody"

Guy behind: "Well that's okay Brian..I can accept that but..."

Fat guy: "but what? But why can't you just leave me the fuck alone then?"

Guy behind: "I'm giving you 30 seconds" (places silencer on gun)

Fat guy: "You don't threaten me, I have as much right to levitate as any man has to walk mate"

Guy behind: "Brian, you've been up there for 4 and a half months...this isn't even your house! you have 20 seconds"

Fat guy: " OH SHUT THE FUCK UP RITCHIE, THAT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS, ITS JUST A PERSONAL GRIEVANCE YOU HAVE WITH ME. YOU KNOW HAVE YOU EVER REALLY SAT DOWN AND THOUGHT WHAT EXACTLY IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM MATE? IS IT ME LEVITATING OR IS IT YOU AND YOUR INSECURITY??? YOU HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES MATE AND YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM. YOUR HEAD IS SO FUCKING FAR SHOVED UP YOUR OWN AR....."

BOOM!!!!!
 
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Big John had managed to keep his cool all night.
It was bad enough that someone had invited his nemesis Gay Brian to the lads movie night, and even worse when he declined a can of Stella in favour of a glass of pink champagne.
However, the final straw was when he suggested that instead of watching the Matrix trilogy on Blu Ray, followed by a FIFA09 session, they should watch Sex & The City, Mamma Mia & Steel Magnolias...followed by some PES09...
 
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He was quite aggressive when it came to food, and just couldn't control himself when Grandma had picked up the last sausage roll. Needless to say he didn't expect to get an invite next year for her 87th birthday...
 
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DagsJT comes home after his latest Karate session and shows of the Flying Gooch Kick!! HIIIIIIYAAAAA!!![/QUOTE]
 
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Barry's Matrix Attempt goes horribly wrong as his shirt gets ripped open due to his weight and his balls being exposed, that didn't go down with Grandma as she found her birthday being ruined...
 
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Glenn in the background didn't know what was weirder? Was it the fact that this white eyed fat fuck could actually do a karate kick with his bollocks haging out or the fact he had a two inch penis sticking out of his calf muscle.
 
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After Dermot paid a suprise visit to the Bauer's to make a formal complaint about 'Booyaa' & 'Trumpets' consistently winning points each week, he was swiftly evicted after showing off his own 'fluffy kitten'.
 
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Kevin was one of the few men to experience that unique bittersweet feeling that you get after you record the World's Loudest Fart only to be flung backwards across the room, destroy your clothes and break your back on a bookcase.
 
SEASON FIVE: ROUND 11 RESULTS

MY LIST

1st Place: Jumbo_
Kevin was one of the few men to experience that unique bittersweet feeling that you get after you record the World's Loudest Fart only to be flung backwards across the room, destroy your clothes and break your back on a bookcase

2nd Place: Jamesy
He was quite aggressive when it came to food, and just couldn't control himself when Grandma had picked up the last sausage roll. Needless to say he didn't expect to get an invite next year for her 87th birthday

3rd Place: Radiation
Having just flew from New Zealand to surprise Grandma on her 90th. James ran into the room, got his shirt collar caught on a nail sticking out of the door. As the shirt ripped open he flew through the air exposing his balls to the family and then kung fu kicked grandma's teeth right down her throat

HER LIST

1st Place: Dermot
[The first part of the levitating fat man saga]

2nd Place: Jumbo_
Everybody was kung fu fighting! HAA! WOOCHA!

3rd Place: Tim7
World's Strongest Invisible Man
 
SEASON FIVE: ROUND 12 (26th October - 2nd November)
Please remember to read the rules on the first page of the thread

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Dermot O Leary decides to take his Bush and Olmert waxworks off the front lawn and back into storage until the recession has passed after a spate of drive by eggings.
 
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Bush talking to his secret service dudes through an earpiece:

"well I'll be darned...what in tarnation..its some kind a....like a....weapon of mass destruction.....lets put a stop to this right now.....invade Russia...don't talk over me boy just do what I say!!!!"
 
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Bush: "Well...I know it ain't exactly Air Force One Mr. Putin but...our economy is facing some pretty rough times right about now...and we're just trying to cut back on certain expenses...it should get you back to Moscow in one piece..."
 
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George Bush gets his groove on and makes some shapes while Michael Barrymore flies round on his Segway at the most surreal rave you never went to.
 
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George wasn't sure what was freaking him out more. The fact that this man was able to move without moving his legs, or that the same man had a hand hanging out of his back pocket...
 
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George was trying his best to cheer on his ginger friend at the National Wimp Brawl, and thought a cheeky nut punch on Hawkin Jnr would be more effective than attempting a chinese burn...
 
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Bush uses his genetically enhanced long arm to pick pocket at Michael Barrymore and Dermot O leary's civil ceremony.
 
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The Bushmeister was visibly excited at the prospect of going to the moon, he'd planned this for years and was going to make millions after his presidency was over... if only his aides had the heart to tell him a segway was not capable of space travel.
 
SEASON FIVE: ROUND 12 RESULTS

MY LIST

1st Place: Dermot
Bush was trying to figure out why his wasn't moving either; until he was told he wasn't on his yet

2nd Place: Jumbo_
George Bush gets his groove on and makes some shapes while Michael Barrymore flies round on his Segway at the most surreal rave you never went to

3rd Place: Radiation
That's it, Bush was about to knock these two fuckers out

HER LIST

1st Place: Dermot
Bush talking to his secret service dudes through an earpiece: "Well I'll be darned...what in tarnation...its some kind a...like a...weapon of mass destruction...let's put a stop to this right now...invade Russia...don't talk over me boy just do what I say!!!"

2nd Place: jaygrim
Bush declared rootin tootin Putin was the fastest president he'd ever seen on two wheels

3rd Place: Radiation
That's it, Bush was about to knock these two fuckers out

After creating captions set in the future where Dermot pulls off a stunning comeback over Jumbo... Dermot is pulling off a stunning comeback over Jumbo! But can it last, or is Jumbo saving his best until last? Just four more weeks to go until the end of the season.
 
SEASON FIVE: ROUND 13 (2nd November - 9th November)
Please remember to read the rules on the first page of the thread

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