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Manchester United Thread

When you hear joostebrood say that thatcher would be a good signing, then you should know better than to listen to any of his bile.
 
I thought this might've been tricky, but I guess not.....FUCK YEAH!

great to see Rooney score again, and to get three as well, what a way to silence any critics.

+6 goal difference compared to Chelsea....this is looking nice
 
NemanjaVidic.jpg


Important facts about NEMANJA VIDIC


Guns don't kill people. Nemanja Vidic kills People.


Nemanja Vidic gave birth to himself.


Nemanja Vidic does not sleep. He waits.


The chief export of Nemanja Vidic is Pain.


Nemanja Vidic doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.


Nemanja Vidic once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. It made him blink.


When Nemanja Vidic does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.


It was not Roy Keane that ended Alf Inge Harland's career in 2001. It was actually 20yr old Nemanja Vidic "channeling" the thoughts into Roy Keane's head.


In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Nemanja Vidic could use to kill you - including the room itself.


The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Nemanja Vidic.


Stupid tackles don't break peoples legs, Nemanja Vidic does


Nemanja Vidic once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.



There are no races, only countries of people Nemanja Vidic has beaten to different shades of black and blue.


The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Nemanja Vidic has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.


For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Nemanja Vidic, each testicle is larger than the other one.


Nemanja Vidic grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.


Nemanja Vidic once played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.


In a 50-50 challenge, Nemanja Vidic would win 150-nil.


Nemanja Vidic does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.


Nemanja Vidic recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.


Nemanja Vidic puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".


Nemanja Vidic crossed the road. Nobody has ever dared question his motives.


When Nemanja Vidic exercises, the machine gets stronger.


Nemanja Vidic's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.


Nemanja Vidic died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.


Nemanja Vidic once turned up for training late - Fergie fined the rest of the team for being early.


Nemanja Vidic likes to use Sir Alex Ferguson's famous hairdryer treatment to dry his hands.


When Nemanja Vidic answers the phone, he just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.


Nemanja Vidic once visited the Virgin Islands-now it's just the Islands


Nemanja Vidic does not get subtituted. He decides to watch the game.


Nemanja Vidic takes the 'the' out of psychotherapist.
 
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Alucard said:
NemanjaVidic.jpg

It was not Roy Keane that ended Alf Inge Harland's career in 2001. It was actually 20yr old Nemanja Vidic "channeling" the thoughts into Roy Keane's head.

Stupid tackles don't break peoples legs, Nemanja Vidic does

In a 50-50 challenge, Nemanja Vidic would win 150-nil.


Nemanja Vidic once turned up for training late - Fergie fined the rest of the team for being early.


Nemanja Vidic likes to use Sir Alex Ferguson's famous hairdryer treatment to dry his hands.



Nemanja Vidic does not get subtituted. He decides to watch the game.


Nemanja Vidic takes the 'the' out of psychotherapist.
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These are the only ones that are made up. Thanks for trying though.
 
I'm 41 and Chuck Norris has always been a joke as far as I'm concerned. Sort of like Seagal now. You just can't take them seriously. Shinichi 'Sonny' Chiba for me anyday.

Very impressed with Utd yesterday. The first 10 minutes was awesome. Bolton came back in the second half, which was to be expected, but we looked pretty solid.
I'd like to see Smith and Ole up front against Copenhagen. We only need a point to qualify.
 
phrase said:
You thought really hard to come up with this line didju? \\:o/ Give it a rest mate...
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Actually no the second I saw the first few jokes, I knew it was Chuck Norris.

beboquintero said:
Chuck Norris how old are you blokes 45 or 50

I know chuck from his infomercial(selling exercise machines)
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I'm 18

And I'm not trying to start anything I was just saying that most of the jokes were Chuck Norris ones and he got mad, not my fault.
 
Simmsm88 said:
Actually no the second I saw the first few jokes, I knew it was Chuck Norris.

I'm 18

And I'm not trying to start anything I was just saying that most of the jokes were Chuck Norris ones and he got mad, not my fault.
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hard to believe your 18...I hope if I say a joke you dont spoil it and call me on it;)
 
Great performance from the lads on sat, good to see SAF not get into the "bolton are bullies" routine that wenger, rafa and mourinho go into before and after games v bolton, Bolton couldnt bully us cos they couldnt get near us.

That was pretty much our best starting 11 if we get a bit of luck with injuries etc then we could be in with a good chance of more silverware this year.

Gotta mention carrick and vidic, vidic is a monster he defends like stam but is much more agile, carrick has been getting stick of the press and other supporters which is fair enough but he has even been getting stick of reds which really fucks me off, its not his fault we paid 14 mill (everyone loves to qoute the 18mill figure but that depends on our success so far we have only paid £14mill) he is a great passer of the ball we've seen little glimpses so far but saturday showed that he is defo a united player, he had a hand in three of the 4 goals, his 40 yard lofted pass with his left foot to saha that made the ronaldo goal was one of the best passes you could see, he even pointed to saha to show him where he was gonna put it, pure quality....
 
Vannizzlefashizzal said:
40 yard lofted pass with his left foot to saha that made the ronaldo goal was one of the best passes you could see, he even pointed to saha to show him where he was gonna put it, pure quality....
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Yep, what about the ball he put through for Rooneys first that was just measured perfect, absolute class.

I can see Carrick and Saha being a real threat when they get to understand each other alot more, with Carricks passing and Sahas control and runs that would take some stopping
 
Vannizzlefashizzal said:
Gotta mention carrick and vidic, vidic is a monster he defends like stam but is much more agile, carrick has been getting stick of the press and other supporters which is fair enough but he has even been getting stick of reds which really fucks me off, its not his fault we paid 14 mill (everyone loves to qoute the 18mill figure but that depends on our success so far we have only paid £14mill) he is a great passer of the ball we've seen little glimpses so far but saturday showed that he is defo a united player, he had a hand in three of the 4 goals, his 40 yard lofted pass with his left foot to saha that made the ronaldo goal was one of the best passes you could see, he even pointed to saha to show him where he was gonna put it, pure quality....
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C'mon, lets be honest. When Carrick was playing shite, he REALLY was shite. He gave away balls way too many times and it really made him stand out. I never doubted his ability cuz I saw a few friendlies after he signed for us and his passing was pretty good.
As for Vidic, I was probably the only one here that believed he was a first teamer before the start of this season while everyone else said they prefered Brown. So it was nice to see him actually put in the performances like he has been lately. His first few games weren't a true reflection of his talent cuz I noticed all his flaws came from a lack of communication which isnt too hard to improve.

Looking at the squad as a whole, I only just realised we had 4 keepers. I think we're slowly reaching perfection in this area. I've been impressed with Howard at Everton who has been playing a bit more like the Tim Howard we knew from his debut season. Foster along with Kuszczak look like they have a bright future ahead. And we have VDS to help those 3 through their transition to the first team. I cant see anything going wrong in terms of the GK situation.
 
I think Foster looks the best bet, which is saying something. I'm a bit dissapointed for Howard, I think Fergie will never forgive him for the Porto error. He's a great shot stopper and with more experience he's going to be a force. Kuszcak looks to be the permanent back up, and seems competent. Foster just looks too good not to have in goal, he is just immense at watford, and he can through further than some keepers can kick, which is just awesome. He would release Ronaldo/Giggs with such great accuracy and speed, our counter attacking would get even better!
 
I think you guys should go after someone like McGeady of Celtic to replace C.Ronaldo on the left wing. Think about it, todays game is about guts and determination and not flicks and flair, people have figured out Ronaldos game now and know how to stop him. It's obvious in his current drop of form at the moment.
 
Dermot said:
I think you guys should go after someone like McGeady of Celtic to replace C.Ronaldo on the left wing. Think about it, todays game is about guts and determination and not flicks and flair, people have figured out Ronaldos game now and know how to stop him. It's obvious in his current drop of form at the moment.
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Hrm..player of the season so far? Let's hope no one other than me leaps into this, clearly just here to provoke a response, he can't be serious.
 
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No he is right. Dermot is a smart wise lad. I think we should get rid of Ronaldo, rooney and carrick. They are players who are clearly past their sale by date and have been figured out numerous times. Just look at the Bolton game, the useless overrated overweight boy scored a hattrick. Ronaldo has no end product only scoring 4 goals so far this season. Don't let me start on carrick, that awful long pass that set up the first goal for rooney. Just terrible. Overpriced, overhyped. Bring in thatcher, McGeady and Hartson if we can twist their arms into joining United who are struggling on top of the premiership.
 
Doesnt matter. I'm expecting Rooney and Ronaldo to rip them apart. As a matter of fact, I'd have rested some players for the game cuz its not one we must win.
 
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