funny jokes

I wasn't sure if it was too soon, but as Jay started it...


There are mixed reports coming from the hospital. Some are saying Jacko had a heart attack, while others are saying he had a stroke in the children's ward...
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Michael Jackson has died. Hospital staff aren't sure what to do with the body as the plastic recycle collection isn't due til next Tuesday...
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What's the difference between Michael Jackson & Sir Alex Ferguson?
Fergie will be playing Giggs in the next 6 weeks...
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Michael Jackson isn't dead! He's in a critical condition after he was hit by, he was struck by, a Smooth Criminal.
 
Some more Jacko ones:

Michael Jackson's promoter has cancelled these dates following his death...David, Paul and Steve all aged 9 and Lee aged 7

Michael Jackson has had a cardiac arrest. Eye witnesses described it as a Thriller.

Early reports say that Michael Jackson hasn't been this stiff since MacCauley Culkin stayed over! :BLUSH:
 
Don't know if this has been said;

But people have said Michael actually died from food poisening, apparently he had some 8 year old nuts.
 
Celebrity friends are rallying round the Jackson family. David Blane has promised to spend 48 hrs in the cofin with Michael and Madonna has said she'll have the kids if nobody wants them.

Jockeys at Ascot races will wear black armbands out of respect for Jacko who successfully rode more 3 year olds than anyone in living memory.

i'm deeply offended by the jokes surroundinf Michael Jacksons death. He touched me in ways only a catholic priest would understand.

Whats the difference between MJ and Farrah Fawcett?
One played with Majors the other with Minors

A non Mj one

My girlfriend is a dirty little minx. when i cum in her mouth she likes to gargle it, blow bubbles with it and then let it dribble out of her mouth and down her chin. She may be quadraplegic but she sure knows how to enjoy herself!

:COAT:
 
McDonalds are releasing the McJackson to commemorate MJ. It's 50 year old meat inside 10 year old buns.
 
In MJ's will it says he wants to be melted down into a slide so that children can still go down on him.
 
"Apparently the family is having trouble getting permision to bury MJ at his Neverland Ranch, its mostly to do with state toxic dumping laws with the focus on plastics"

Just made that up myself.......can you tell?!
 
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...

Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"

A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."

Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"

A: "The officer who responded to the scene."

Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"

A: "Yes, sir. With my life."

Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"

A: "Yes sir, we do!"

Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"

A: "Yes sir, I do."

Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"

A: "Yes sir."

Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"

A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."

The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best Comeback" line -- and we think he'll win.
 
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