The Random Crap Thread

Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

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LOL :lol: Eminem is a joker
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Just checking my new avatar is working and adding another post to my count ;)
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Chinese Gov't: Smoking is great for Health

Cigarettes, according to China's tobacco authorities, are an excellent way to prevent ulcers. They also reduce the risk of Parkinson's disease, relieve schizophrenia, boost your brain cells, speed up your thinking, improve your reactions and increase your working efficiency.

Pay no attention to those lung cancer warnings - they're nonsense. You're more likely to get cancer from cooking smoke! Those are the words of wisdom from China's state-owned tobacco monopoly, the world's most successful cigarette-marketing agency. With annual sales of 1.8 trillion cigarettes, the Chinese are responsible for nearly 1/3 of all cigarettes smoked on the whole planet.

The official website of the tobacco monopoly claims cigarettes are a kind of miracle drug: solving your health problems, helping your lifestyle, strengthening the equality of women, and even eliminating loneliness and depression. “Smoking removes your troubles and worries,” says a 37-year-old female magazine editor, quoted approvingly on the website. “Holding a cigarette is like having a walking stick in your hand, giving you support. “Quitting smoking would bring you misery, shortening your life.” Such statements are widely believed in China.

2/3 of Chinese men are smokers, and surveys show that approx. 90% believe their habit has little effect on their health, or is good for them. Even in China's medical community, 60% of male doctors are smokers. No wonder Western tobacco companies are drooling over the Chinese market of 360 million smokers.

This week, a group of Canadian experts went to China in an effort to convince Chinese smokers of more realistic effects of smoking. They distributed anti-smoking posters, visited cancer patients, showed the graphic warnings on Canadian cigarette packs, and lectured on how the anti-smoking campaign has reduced Canada's lung-cancer rate. They face a struggle in China, a country where the tobacco industry provides 60 million jobs and 10% of national tax revenue.

“In China today, the economy comes first and everything else is secondary, including health care,” Dr. Jean Couture, a Quebec surgeon, said. “You wonder if anyone in the government is conscious of how great the smoking problem is. There's no public education program. The Chinese anti-smoking association is very weak and has almost no money. Within 20 years, China could have the majority of all smoking deaths in the world.” Couture leads anti-smoking campaigns in 4 Chinese provinces, and has been involved with China's smoking problem since 1990.

As Canadians distributed posters at a hospital, they saw a number of people smoking in the hospital. A hospital shop was openly selling cigarettes. While smoking rates have fallen sharply in Canada in the past two decades, the rate in China is still rising. The number of Chinese smokers is growing by 3 million a year, despite an estimated 1.3 million tobacco-related deaths annually.

Chinese cigarettes are cheap — as little as 30 cents a pack — and the health warnings are hidden in small print on the sides of the packages. Though cigarette advertising is technically illegal, tobacco companies are allowed to promote their corporate names. Children can easily buy cigarettes at Chinese shops, despite an official ban on sales to those under 18. Money, money, money.
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A smart way to reduce the population.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Just shows how f*cked up the world is getting.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

hutch said:
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bloody hell Carra must have had a really vicious curry before the final :lol:
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Hahaha.

A dead pixel fixer? Is this a joke?
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

That photo reminds me, I had sex today. It was good guys. Now im just sat here eating the dead skin off my feet.
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Ike said:
A dead pixel fixer? Is this a joke?
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It flashes different colours\"images" on and off the pixels extremely quickly to remove "stuck" pixels, not dead pixels (so it's a bit of a crap name for it then). No success with me (one dead and one stuck), but apparently it's worked for countless others (including a few users of laptops).
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

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"Ya boy Curtis dumb pussy he aint want no beef/
You look like a woodchuck wit ya big ass teeth"
-J Hood
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

ClassicD said:
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Bleedin hell - i would have loved to been the baby Steve & Karen McDonald did talk of having...
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Just received this email...

Hello,

I write you this letter in good faith and to the glory of almighty who thus brought me out clean after all the allegations leveled against me after the death of my father (former Nigerian Military Head of States).

Since my father's death and my detention, my family has been loosing a lot of assets due to vindictive government officials who are bent on dealing with my family.

My family and i are looking for a trustworthy foreign partner who can assist us in receiving some amount of money for investment purposes.

This money is presently in the possession of a Vaulting company abroad. This money was acquired by my late father and is now kept secretly by the family, the money is cash and was lodged in as personal effects in a vaulting firm.

As soon as i hear from you, i will give you all necessary details as to how we intend carrying out the whole transaction. Please, do not entertain any fears, as all necessary modalities are in place, and i assure you of all success and safety in this transaction.

If you are interested in assisting me please send me your consent and telephone number, you may also ignore this letter and respect my trust in you by not exposing this transaction, should you not be interested.

I look forward to working with you.

Thank you

Alhaji Mohammed Abacha.
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Its a tough call, it really is ;)
 
Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

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Best graffiti ever? Kind of makes the "are you thinking what we're thinking" part a bit pointless...
:lmao:
 
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Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

This headline must be a joke right?

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/headlinenews?id=337901&cc=5739

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Young Boys Wankdorf erection relief

BERN, Switzerland, July 31 (Reuters) - The supporters of Young Boys Bern have not had too much to celebrate in the 19 years since their team last won the Swiss league title.

Long since eclipsed by the likes of FC Basel and Grasshoppers Zurich, the club from the Swiss capital has even got a reputation for enjoying its status as a perennial loser.

But this weekend Young Boys sought to shake off their old image by officially opening the 32,000 Stade de Suisse Wankdorf stadium -- which cost 350 million Swiss francs ($271.3 million) -- with an uncharacteristically flashy homecoming party.
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Re: Random Crap III - As Authorised By The Man

Not a word in there that isnt sexual, and it wasnt a joke.
 
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