The thread of Fail.

Jamesy said:
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:LMAO: That is fucking hilarious, me and my girlfriend were crying laughing reading that.
 
The second from bottom has some great ones, especially the most right one :D

"Is your pussy to big, put on some Aier Disinfector and watch you c#$t shrink!"
 
How pathetic is modern football, seriously... They need to start handing out ten match bans for that kind of bollocks.
 
I'm guessing it's meant to be a racist thing saying the white girl's parents have failed cos they're stood with a group of black guys.

And Soul sarcastically posted it as he's black (I think).
 
It's a sad day today :( I have to fail myself :TTTH:...

It's a long read so I apologise in advance, unless you've already stopped and skipped to the next post in which case I don't know why I'm even typing this...

I was in York today, I'd called in on my way back from a meeting as I often do and I popped into one of those 'Ye Olde' sweet shops, you know the ones that have all those great sweets you loved in big jars along with Sherbet Dip Dabs and cream soda, all the crap that will kill you and visibly destroy your teeth as you eat them too.

So as I waited my turn I scanned the shelves for my favourite fix, 'Sour Apples' and sure enough there were the little red and green balls of sugary sourness but just as I was about to point them out to the girl serving me I spotted.......

SUPER SOUR APPLES (the super was in bold on the jar)

Boy I had to have some of those babies, so i duly pointed them out and ordered 200g.
Now at this point the girl turned to me and said "are you sure you want these", which at first I took to mean she could not follow my finger two feet to a jar on the wall but as she lifted it down, she then added "they really are very sour"...

Wow I thought, these must be up there with crack and Kali or is it Cayli or lie, either-way I was sure they would be about a 3 on the sour scale maybe a 4 at best, anyway I was a sours junkie I've been to the burn of removing the skin off the roof of my mouth and still dipped one more time :D

And so I paid and stepped out on to the bustle of the touristy York city streets with my small white paper bag of..

SUPER SOUR APPLES...

I dove straight in and with no fear grabbed two of the frosty green balls and popped them in as I walked, BANG... the sourness was instant :BLINK: Boy these babies are fantast... hang on, HANG on a fecking minute... WTF!!!...:SHOCK:

What happened next I can only say has knocked my self esteem for six, the instant sour went from mouth puckeringly fantastic to a " errr I think these have some kind of poison on them" to a "oh sweet Jesus what is this" and then horror of horror I had to take them out of my mouth...

I stood there my mouth still in meltdown, even my stomach was hurting, I suddenly felt dirty... I was convinced I'd been tricked and these had been dipped in bleach or caustic soda, so I tentatively put them back in, after all caustic soda or not I'd paid for these suckers... :P

Bang there it was again though not as strong this time as I'd taken most of the hit and probably a hell of a lot of my taste buds were now deader than Elvis...

After a few more moments they became tame apply flavoured with a then small amount of soury sherbet in the centre. As I walked on I thought to myself, fine I was taken by surprise, I could have been poisoned, hell I still maybe they could be covered in caustic soda. Either way I knew I had to have another go, I knew what I was up against now...

So I took a seat by the Minster and popped another couple of mouth slappers and waited...






Now to cut a very long story short the same sequence of events unfolded and i was, ashamed as I am to say it, forced to take out the Weapons of Mouth Destruction again...

I was beaten by a sour, I drove home a gutted man with a slightly sore mouth, a headache that I can't shift and a small white bag of WMD's in my car door compartment...:CRY:
 
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