Football cliches - what are your best (or worst)?

Plan M

Plan M

Banned
27 September 2007
Manchester United
The beautiful game is full of them and I personally love them. I must hear a pundit or a friend mention at least three every week! Post your favourite/worst/most annoying cliches and if possible, who said them.

"We didn't take our chances today but the other team did, therefore we lost."

Classic. :lol:
 
Don't know if i get this right,
but Sepp Herberger once said:

"Der Ball ist rund und das Spiel dauert 90 Minuten."
That means:
"The ball is round and the game lasts 90 minutes"
and should says that everything is possible ^^
 
TheBass said:
Don't know if i get this right,
but Sepp Herberger once said:

"Der Ball ist rund und das Spiel dauert 90 Minuten."
That means:
"The ball is round and the game lasts 90 minutes"
and should says that everything is possible ^^
Click to expand...

:lmao:
 
You have to take each game as it comes (no shit sherlock).

There are no easy fixture in international football anymore (blatantly untrue).

He has a really good touch for a big man (as though his brain being further from his feet should affect his touch).

One of the biggest cliches in the English game is this constant thing where people are asked what is more important good looking/attacking foorball or results as though the two were separate and exlusively so.

Why should it be a choice between good looking football/attacking and results?

Results can come with good looking/attacking football or defensive football if played well.

Just as shite defensive football or shite good looking attacking football can result in poor/crap results.

Why ask a football fan what they would rather have as though the two must be separate, as though good looking attacking football must result in poor results?

Mental!!!!!!!

Man Utd, Barcelona, Classic Ajax teams, AC Milan particularly of the late 80s/early 90s.....I could go on and on and on!!!!

This although not a statement has to be the biggest most bollox cliche in English football.
 
Classic Johan Cruijff

"Als wij de bal hebben kunnen zij niet scoren."
(If we have the ball, they can't score.)

"Je moet altijd zorgen dat je een doelpunt meer scoort als de tegenstander."
(You always have to score one more goal than the opponent.)

"Soms moet er iets gebeuren voordat er iets gebeurt."
(Sometimes something has to happen, before something happens)

"There is only one ball on the pitch"

"In voetbal is het simpel: je bent op tijd of je bent te laat. Als je te laat bent, moet je zorgen dat je op tijd vertrekt."
(In football it's simple, you're either on time or you're too late. If you're too late, make sure you leave on time.)

"Je moet schieten, anders kun je niet scoren."
(You have to shoot to score)

Tom Egbers, over de twee gemiste penalty's van Frank de Boer in de halve finale van het EK 2000: "Wat doet hij nou fout, Johan?" Cruijff: "Hij schiet ze er niet in."
(Tom Egbers asks Cruiff, about Frank de Boer's two missed penalties in the EC2000 semi final: "What is it he does wrong, Johan?" Cruiff: " Hij doesn't shoot em in")

"Elk nadeel heb z'n voordeel."
( Every disadvantage has it's advantage)

"Als ik zou willen dat je het begreep, had ik het wel beter uitgelegd."
(If I wanted you to understand, I would've explained better)

"Italianen kunnen niet van je winnen, maar je kunt wel van ze verliezen."
(Italians can't beat you, but you can be beaten by them)
 
Great thread!

Why are good left-footed players described as having a 'cultured left foot'? Cultured? Why? Has it been to the Louvre or something?

Why are soft challenges always 'innocuous'? "He's gone down rather dramatically after a seemingly innocuous challenge there." :-D

Last one from me, why are dramatic saves from goalkeepers always labeled, "one for the cameras"? I always think this is a bit harsh. Surely if you're keeping it out you're doing your job, right? Does it matter how you do it? It seems people in England are always looking for a show pony to shoot down :p
 
I think Terry Butcher on PES made me angry more than laugh.

When you won a master league game 1-0, his after match comments were always "that one goal made the difference". duh.
 
Don Domenico said:
Classic Johan Cruijff

"Als wij de bal hebben kunnen zij niet scoren."
(If we have the ball, they can't score.)

"In voetbal is het simpel: je bent op tijd of je bent te laat. Als je te laat bent, moet je zorgen dat je op tijd vertrekt."
(In football it's simple, you're either on time or you're too late. If you're too late, make sure you leave on time.)
Click to expand...

:mrgreen: :lol:

Reading it made me laugh but to be honest, I'm kinda confused as well LOL. :confused:
 
Joystick said:
Great thread!

Why are good left-footed players described as having a 'cultured left foot'? Cultured? Why? Has it been to the Louvre or something?
Click to expand...

Haha Very true mate.

I remember almost every commentator ever saying Liam Brady had a cultured foot :lmao:
 
vanzandt said:
Haha Very true mate.

I remember almost every commentator ever saying Liam Brady had a cultured foot :lmao:
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In all fairness, he did have a lovely left boot! ;)

Also, why is it that even if a left-footed player is a centre forward, centre back or centre midfielder, people assume they can do a job on the left side of defence or midfield? :-s:lol:

You wouldn't get the right footed Michael Carrick and say he'd do a job down England's right flank :lol:
 
"*Insert team here* are travelling to Bolton today which is a potential banana skin." The Sky Sports panel usually state the obvious on a Saturday afternoon. :lol:

"The best team lost today." Arsene Wenger when Arsenal lose to ANYONE.

"They won but they didn't beat us." Arsene Wenger when Arsenal lose to ANYONE.

"It's European nights like this that produce heroes." Pundits before most European Cup matches.
 
"Well, this certainly smacks of that crazy night at the Nou Camp in 1999." Jon Champion, any Champions League match involving Man Utd, especially when they trail and have to win after going behind.

It was 8 years ago Jon, seriously get over it.
 
Joystick said:
"Well, this certainly smacks of that crazy night at the Nou Camp in 1999." Jon Champion, any Champions League match involving Man Utd, especially when they trail and have to win after going behind.

It was 8 years ago Jon, seriously get over it.
Click to expand...

Well he hasn't got an Arsenal European Cup final triumph to compare a match to, has he? ;)
 
Oh the usual nonsense:

"At the end of the day" and "ye know" being half of the sentance in every footballers interview. Use it multiple times if you want to make a longer sentance.

Or McClaren's: "I not making excuses, but........"

Wenger's: "I didnt see it"

"That magical night in barcelona/istanbul" for every CL match.

"He wont be too pleased with that" No Motty, and own goal, injuring your own goalie and getting sent off at the same time?! No he wont be too pleased with that!

Anything a lawro lawro nonsense says.

I always try to have the commentary turned off if possible. Over here in NL we have a digital footie channel that shows all the premiershio games live (so sometimes 8 matches at the same time) and they have the option of different audio feeds aswell. Most of the time it will be either english or dutch for the main match but for the rest its usually english or none. I know what i always pick.

Oh and one my Dad always says, "I think the Czech republic could be this years dark horses" To which i reply, you cant be dark horses for the past 10 years (he started it in 96
 
Another 2 Cruijff quotes:

'Before I make a mistake, I don't make it'
'When I get home from analysing a game, and my wife asks me what I said, I answer: 'I have no idea'
 
tiktiktiktik said:
Oh the usual nonsense:
Oh and one my Dad always says, "I think the Czech republic could be this years dark horses" To which i reply, you cant be dark horses for the past 10 years (he started it in 96
Click to expand...

:lmao:
 
steevio_uk said:
In all fairness, he did have a lovely left boot! ;)
:
Click to expand...

Yes but it didn’t dress elegantly, speak multiple languages, attend lectures in philosophy; neither was it excellent in arts, letters, manners or scholarly pursuits. The only way his left foot was cultured was when he spilt yoghurt on it.


Also, why is it that even if a left-footed player is a centre forward, centre back or centre midfielder, people assume they can do a job on the left side of defence or midfield? :-s:lol:

steevio_uk said:
You wouldn't get the right footed Michael Carrick and say he'd do a job down England's right flank :lol:
Click to expand...

But left foots are different :lol:
 
I think you mean Jamie Redknapp, MJ

The man is a media monkey and author of the best-selling 'Punditry for Dummies'.

A right plank.
 
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